Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Montezuma's Revenge

Happy Birthday to my beloved!  The old man is 27 today, and hopefully it was an okay birthday.  I made him a frozen peanut butter pie with the crust made out of Nutter Butters (don't tell Jacob, he hates them).  Also, we went to the good Mexican restaurant in town, El Sombrero, more affectionately referred to as "the hat".  Actually, it's pretty good for being in North Dakota, and ALL of the wait staff are Hispanic, which I find very refreshing.  It's so nice to see someone up here that is an actual minority, you know, not just a really tan, scuzzy vagrant.  The downside is that both Jacob and I had Mexican food, which is not great since this apartment only has one bathroom.....

A cold front came through town last night, which I'm sure you know, almost brought me to tears.  When I took the dogs for a walk tonight, I saw multiple people had covered their plants with sheets.  It's like I could just feel my heart breaking and my soul crushing in on itself.  Jacob said Thursday it was going to be in the low 30's, which means the townsfolk are about to see my ugly side.  IT'S GONNA GET REAL, DICKINSON.

I went to Walmart again today.  Oy, if I could just get through a day without saying that....I tried to count the number of RVs in the parking lot and the number of semis pickle-parking (trademark Adam Kelly), but I got distracted when I realized that the parking lot was half full with brand-new dealership cars.  I have not figured out this trend yet.  For whatever reason, car dealerships here (we've seen this happen twice since we've been here), decide to bring all their inventory to another location, say a Walmart parking lot, and sell from there.  Despite having a perfectly fine dealership in town.  They treat it like it's some special event, and you should be excited that you get to shop for cars in a different location, rather than just a boring-old dealership.  For the life of me, I cannot figure out why they do this.  Is it really worth the trouble to these dealers to transport hundreds of cars across town to sell them out of a parking lot?  Do they not understand there are DOZENS of homeless people living in that Walmart parking lot as we speak?  All you're doing is bringing your inventory closer to the gypsies, and I'm fairly certain they aren't interested in your new car.  They've got a perfectly good 17 year old Winnebago, thank you very much.  FYI, Car Dealers, these gypsies will think NOTHING of making themselves at home in your makeshift Walmart car dealership.  These are the same gypsies that threw a birthday party a couple weeks ago and set up their own moonwalks outside their RV in the Walmart parking lot and used shopping carts as a barrier so people didn't think it was for public use.  How a gypsy can afford to rent 2 moonwalks, but can't rent a party space, I don't know.     

Here's where I say goodbye to my male readers (if they exist).  No, I'm not going to be discussing periods or anything, I wouldn't give a warning for that.  I'm on my period right now.  No...I'm not.  That 26 day period really messed up my cycle.  No, I want to talk about NY Fashion Week.  I've been following some of the collections as they come up, and some have been pretty good, but not necessarily worth mentioning.  Until now.  Commence Slow Clap for Christian Siriano, former Project Runway winner.   Perfect example of why I can no longer watch Project Runway- his collection was immaculate and extremely impressive. Since moving to lifetime, the quality of both designers and challenges on the show have declined exponentially. But back to Christian... Every piece was red-carpet ready or editorial.  It was well-tailored, modern, beautiful, and ready to be worn right off the runway.  If you're interested, click here to see his collection.  Personally, I LOVE what he started the show with, and the two he ended with.  And everything in between as well.  I'm not going to go into what celebrity should wear which piece to what even, but let's just say there is definitely a lot of potential here.  And I need every piece in my closet ASAP.  


  1. I thought you should know you have at least 1 male reader (big fan), and I totally agree with you on the Christiano Soriano thing.

  2. Yay thanks Bryan! Glad to have you!

  3. Love the blog! I read one of the entries out loud at work and you had some people rolling. I'll have to elaborate on a pickle park experience I've had in the past. It involves a prostitute, several barrels of afterbirth, and a brief stint in the witness protection program. (All right, 2 of those are true.)

  4. I'm always up for a good pickle-parkin story. ESPECIALLY if it involves prostitutes. Witness Protection...does that mean you AREN'T a Sphynx cat breeder from Poughkeepsie?!?