Wednesday, March 28, 2012

To bed

Sorry guys, but I've got a 10 hour workday ahead of me tomorrow, so it's off to bed for me. Do yourself a favor and read up on Dance Moms in my absence.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

More Dance Moms

Since its a crazy week and I'm exhausted and my stomach is bothering me, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Let's talk Dance moms. One thing I noticed this week was that I believe one of the moms may have multiple personalities. This is the same mom that freaked out last week when the moms asked about her engagement ring and she had her lawyer write up Cease and Desist letters. Although her excuse there was that her fiancé's lawyer did that, so she had nothing to do with it. Never mind the little detail that her fiancé and his lawyer would have no way of knowing the situation that occurred, or the names of the women she wanted to serve. But regardless, this week she freaked out for who knows what reason and her facial tic kicked into overdrive and she stormed out of the dance studio, swearing she wouldn't be back. (she works the front desk there...). Anyhoo, there she is the next day, on the bus with the girls and the other moms as they drive to their competition. No mention of her meltdown the previous day and her fight with two of the moms. Now she's giving one of those moms a push up bra as a present. It makes sense if you think about it--I'm always guessing at the size of my acquaintances genitals so I can buy them undergarments in an attempt to highlight their biggest insecurity.

The editing on the show is really starting to get to me. For no real reason, it drives me completely bonkers when they edit it to look like two separate days of rehearsal, even though it's clearly the same day and the girls are wearing the same clothes. I'm smarter than you think, Lifetime producers! Just because I watch Dance Moms doesn't mean I'm a total idiot. During one scene, Abby is praising Maddie and bringing high school kids in to watch her dance, then they cut to a different scene, act like its a new day, and Abby is talking about how Madde isn't paying attention and practicing up to her normal level. She's in the same clothes, it's the same day! Don't try to trick me, editing team. I won't fall for it.

I also noticed in tonight's episode, the girls wore the scandalous burlesque costumes, from a few weeks ago. The illusion bras and shorts that were bedazzled, but supposed to make them look nude. When they wore those two weeks ago, it was all the moms were talking about. They couldn't believe how tacky and risqué it was and even the judges seem displeased. Tonight they wore the outfits in the group number and no one mentioned it or treated it like it was too much. BE CONSISTENT DANCE MOMS.

Next week looks awesome--there is going ti be a showdown in NYC between Kathy of Candy Apples and Abby. The girls have been invited to try out for some prestigious ballet program. More than anything, I don't want any of the girls to get accepted into the program EXCEPT for Vivi. Wouldn't that be sweet justice?! Speaking of Justice, I will also be happy if Vivis gay ginger friend, Justice gets into the program. He works hard and gets 10% of the praiseVivi does even though he has 5x the dancing ability.

Sweet Snugglebugs

Sometimes you just need to curl up against your brother's bottom and take a nap.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Weekend Frustrations and Excitement

Let me address what is bothering the most right now.  I still haven't seen The Hunger Games.  This disappoints me to no end.  We didn't have time to see it while we were in Bismarck this weekend, and even though it's playing here in Dickinson, I have reservations about going to see it in this theater.  I've heard really bad things about this theater.  Like, they don't have theater seating, so every chair is on the same level, which is...weird to me.  Also, the chairs are supposed to be pretty uncomfortable since they're just like regular chairs.  They don't have head rests and they don't recline.  I'm no movie snob or anything, but I've been waiting like a year for this movie, and I REALLY want to enjoy it, and not focus on how this town is stuck in another decade.  Know what I mean?  Whatever, I think we'll probably go see it this weekend because I'm not patient and I really want to see the movie.  I need to get my Gale on.

 Our weekend got off to a really rough start on Friday.  As we were trying to pack up our things for our trip to Bismarck, Jacob got a call from our home builder, Eddy.  To say it was a terrible phone call would be like saying "This dirty poopy diaper smells kinda bad".  And that's exactly what the conversation turned out to be--a dirty, poopy diaper.  The conversation came about because Jacob had called Eddy last weekend to figure out when the rough landscaping would be done on our house.  They need to level our lot off and remove some dirt.  This is holding us up from from putting up a fence, putting in sprinklers, laying sod, and building our deck (which is the only way our backdoor is functional).  When Jacob spoke to Eddy last weekend, Eddy claimed the work couldn't be done because there was still frost in the ground and it would be too tough to dig.  Knowing we had plenty of warm weather to thaw the ground, once Jacob got off the phone, he went into the backyard and was able to dig the depth the machines would need to go in 5 minutes with no frost.  He called Eddy back and left a voicemail saying he had no problems digging and could Eddy call him back.  So when Eddy hadn't called us back by Friday, Jacob called him on his way home from work.  Eddy didn't answer, but called Jacob right back.  Within minutes, the conversation escalated into Eddy swearing at Jacob, calling him an "f-ing nightmare" and saying repeatedly that we "bug the s- out of him".  He refused to give Jacob information on the landscaping situation, only saying that "it could be done in a day, it could be six weeks."  Jacob said he needed a better idea of when it would get done.  We didn't need a specific date, but we needed a better idea of where we stood on the contractors list so that we could be contacting companies for sod, and planning trips to Bismarck to buy the supplies for the deck, fence, and sprinklers.  All Eddy would say when Jacob asked for a better idea was that he wouldn't give it to him.  He just kept saying that Jacob was "bugging the s- out of him."  I won't even go into all the reasons why I think that's crappy, but come on.  You can't run a business by basically withholding information that your clients have every right to ask/know just because you don't like them.  He also admitted to Jacob that if we kept calling and asking questions, he would basically push our job further and further down the contractor's list and they'd just keep putting it off because we're so annoying.  Honestly, I have no doubt he'd do it because it's spiteful and petty and that's exactly how he was acting, but I'm shocked he admitted that to Jacob.  I only wish we could have recorded the conversation to present to a lawyer if and when all the work doesn't get finished on the house within a year of closing.  The whole thing just makes me sick to my stomach.  I hate that we paid him the money we did to build our house and now he's treating us like garbage.  I hate that he's basically accusing Jacob of being a bad person, when he's one of the best, nicest, and most understanding people I know.  And I hate that he feels like he can treat his customers like this.  In what world are your clients a-holes if they're just trying to be informed and aware of how the process of building their home works?  It blows my mind that he basically said we're not allowed to ask him questions anymore.  We just shouldn't contact him.  So if something comes up with the house, he'll see we called, and he'll purposefully ignore the voicemail and the concern because he's sick of us.  That just honestly makes my stomach churn.  And you know what, I hope someone googles the company and comes across this blog.  Maybe even Eddy himself, because I'd like to think maybe he could read this and see objectively how insane and immature the situation has become.  We are not the kind of people that are just going to sit idly by and hope things get done on our house; we'd like to keep up with everything and have a good idea of what needs to happen and when.  I don't believe that makes us bad people.  It makes us thorough.  If you're reading this and you'd feel the same way, I wouldn't buy a Mitzel home, because you may be sworn at for trying to get information on your own home.  Thank goodness for our realtor, Susie, who stepped in after I called her.  Even though she's good friends with Eddy, she's been really great about trying to get information to us and very apologetic about the whole thing.  I honestly don't know what we wouldn't done if she hadn't gotten involved.   

On to things that DON'T make my blood boil........

Once Jacob and I stopped shaking from anger, our trip to Bismarck actually ended up being pretty fun.  Even though it was only a night out of town, it was a nice little getaway.  Jacob and I went out to dinner after his game, then we went to the frozen yogurt place (!!) across from our hotel, which was delicious.  After his game the next morning, we went to the mall (forgettable), then Target, then Hobby Lobby, then Lowes.  Lowes was of course super boring, but Target and Hobby Lobby were awesome.  I got these INCREDIBLE owls from Hobby Lobby that I'm obsessed with.  I'll have to take a picture of them later and put them on here so you can see.  Literally every time I look at them, I laugh.  That's EXACTLY what I look for in home decor.  Here are some of the things we got from Target.  The curtains look a bit busy on the computer, but I really love how they look in person.  They'll get hung in our living room.  We bought two of the rugs for our entryway--one for the front door, the other for the door to the garage.

Jacob's games were also pretty fun.  It was the state tournament for city-league basketball teams, so it was a pretty great display of townies still livin the dream.  During Jacob's first game, I became obsessed with one of Jacob's teammates.  Here are some things I had to say while watching the game:
  • Don't know the names of any of Jacob's teammates, but I've nicknamed one "Brain". He does not seem smart.
  • Brain just tried to rebound by letting the ball fall in front of him, bounce up to his waist, then swatted it away like a kitten. he's cute
  • Brain just yelled something in excitement, shaking his fist, but accidentally hit himself in the chin. He's my favorite.
  • I think Brain just yelled "I'll take the old meth head" about who he'd cover on D. You may be smarter than I thought, Brain!
  • Brain just got called for two bogus fouls. STOP PICKING ON HIM, REFS! I will defend him, if need be.
  • Game over, we win. Excuse me, BRAIN wins, Nip (guy on opposing team who was scratching his nipples) loses. Just the way God intended.
  • Poor Brain lost his phone in the bleachers. This guy can't catch a break.
  • False Alarm! He found it in his backpack!
Just to help you visualize, Brain looks EXACTLY like Tom Chisum, the dumb jock in Grease. 
 Interesting fact, did you know Chisum is played by LORENZO LAMAS?!!?  When I read that, I thought my head exploded. 
During the game the next morning, I lost interest in Brain because he was tired (hungover) and provided little entertainment.  All I had to say about him was:
  • Game 2 starts in half an hour. Brain has already tried to find girls to pick up.
  • Warm ups. Brain just bricked a layup off the top left corner of the backboard.
  • First play of the game, Jacob's teammate gets the rebound and brain runs up to him and yells "BEEBONG!" in his face. They are teammates.
  • Brain just missed two layups and then yelled "I'm just so frickin tired". It's okay, buddy, no one blames you.
The character that captured my attention since Brain wasn't really delivering was one of the refs-- I named him cool ref.  Here are a few things I had to say about him during the game:
  • One ref is wearing designer glasses, grey cargo shorts, and asics with orange laces. This is a city league bball tourney, not a Trader Joes
  • Cool ref is originally from California. Drives a Subaru and bottles his own wine.
  • Cool ref has 2 kids Cameron(girl) and Trey, and a yellow lab he takes when he paddle boards
  • Cool ref went to school for accounting, but owns his own marketing firm now.
  • Cool refs favorite pizza has basil and sun-dried tomatoes
  • Cool ref studied abroad in Spain during college. He was still a Lit major at the time
  • Cool ref's wife is a stay at home mom, but as a side business she sells homemade organic candles
  • Down 13, 7 minutes left. Cool ref just wants the game to end. He and his wife are planning out their garden today.
  • Cool ref only buys organic peanut butter.
  • Cool ref can't stop thinking about the salmon and quinoa his wife made for dinner last night
  • Cool ref and his wife joined a running club, but only so they could meet other active couples
  • Cool ref ends the game with 1:30 left, us down by 10. He really wants to figure out his rhubarb location
  • Cool ref just changed out of reffing gear. Put on dry-weave tee and socks with Tevas.
  • Cool ref is talking to other refs. They're discussing basketball, he is talking about his compost machine in his backyard
Needless to say, I was pretty entertained during Jacob's games and they flew by.  I'll be honest, I didn't watch Jacob much, but I'm sure he played great.  Love you, buddy!
This week work is going to be CRAZY.  We have a huge event on Thursday, and I have a big deadline for our newsletter the next day, not to mention other crap I'm supposed to be putting together for the departments and the web pages I'm putting together.  The good news is that the week will fly by because I'll be so busy.  The bad news is I probably won't be able to get a lot of naps in, which is a bad week, in my book.

Today at work I had to talk to a bunch of our volunteers to confirm their help with our big event this week.  One lady was actually at the hospital, so I just ran upstairs to make sure she could be there when we had her down for.  Somehow this 2 minute conversation turned into a forty minute one where this lady told me basically everything I could possibly need to know about her life--her response to her youngest sibling being born, her grand kid's work schedule, what kind of car her brothers drove, the level of her father's education, what one of her sons teaches at his school, how much that son makes in his side landscaping business (about $14,000), and on and on and on.  I know she just enjoyed the company and the ability to tell stories all her friends have heard a million times to someone who hadn't heard them, but I had A LOT to get done before I was supposed to leave at 3, and I wasn't able to get away from her until about 3:10....During this conversation, she repeated what I've heard from lots of locals: "never go to Walmart after dark."  She said she's really stopped going all together because it's so dangerous now.  I asked if there had been a lot of things that had happened (there haven't been) and her response for her complete terror was that every time she's gone for the last six months, she hasn't seen a single person she knows.  That was one of the most bizarre things I'd ever heard.  If you operate on that mentality, you'd never travel, move, or live in a city with a population greater than 5000.  I genuinely don't understand her concern there.  She didn't know me before this 40 minute conversation began, and she didn't have any problems telling me her life story.  And I didn't try to stab her, so I'm guessing everything turned out fine.  She also said she's scared to go to Walmart because "everyone there speaks Spanish...or worse."  If that's not just about the best example of a North Dakota racist, I don't know what is.  What about Spanish (or any other language for that matter) makes you scary or criminal?  If she hadn't been an old lady, I probably would have stopped her and said how offensive/stupid that is.  Or I would have just said "Tengo mucho lechuga!" " I have much lettuce" doesn't really mean anything, but my Spanish speaking abilities have slipped away.  Anyway, the whole thing was just so ridiculous.  I know people up here aren't used to a lot of diversity
but that's no reason to assume that everyone that speaks another language intends to inflict bodily harm on you.  Ridiculous.  Also, what does it mean to be worse than Spanish?  Personally, I find the North Dakota accent to be a million times worse than any Hispanic accent.

Another reason this weekend wasn't the best is because I wasn't able to watch the Mad Men season premiere. 
 I know, I know.  I can't believe I missed it.  It's a little frustrating actually.  But I plan to watch it online sometime this week and be able to watch it live next weekend.  Well...not live, obviously, I'll watch it later that night so I can fast forward through commercials.  Like anyone watches tv live anymore. 

Sunday, March 25, 2012


I'm way too tired to write anything. I'll try to do something before I go to work tomorrow.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Nothing again

Sorry folks. Two late nights of chores and talking to Jacob leave no time for blogging. We are headed to Bismarck tomorrow afternoon because Jacob is playing in a basketball tournament. I'm weirdly and sadly excited about the trip and the chance to shop. Also, I am DEFINITELY going to see Hunger Games this weekend, so I'll report back soon.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Adios, Focus

Today was a pretty frantic day.  I was all over town trying to help Jacob drop his car off at the dealership for service, then bring him home for lunch, then go to the bank, then drop off my rental, then pick up my car, then get Jacob from work, then go get his car.  It felt like I spent the entire day in my car, but that's okay, because I'm finally reunited with Princess!  It feel so good having the Camry back.  When I dropped the rental off at the dealership I got it from, I had arranged for them to take me back to the car repair place.  The teenage kid who got picked to drive me up there was a sweet kid, but pretty awkward.  He seemed very confused by the whole rental process "So they just let you rent this for like a week?  How come?"  Has he never heard of the rental car business?  When I told him I needed a rental because my car was in the shop for awhile, he was asking me about the accident.  I told him what happened and he said "Lemme guess.  Out of Stater?"  I said yes, but then I said "well I can't talk because I'm from out of state, too."  The look on his face was like"Ohhhhhhh that makes sense."  He asked where I was from, and when I said Houston, he had the exact same look on his face as before, so I'm pretty sure his opinion of me was dropping further into the toilet.  He made a few comments about how much the town had changed over the past five years (keep in mind this kid is like 17, max), and when I asked if he was originally from Dickinson, he said yes.  I asked if he didn't like living here as much now since it was different, and he said "It's just...different.  There's SO much traffic."  HANG ON.  You're gonna tell someone from HOUSTON that your town that has a radius of FOUR MILES has too much traffic?!  THERE'S LESS THAN 10 STOPLIGHTS IN THE ENTIRE TOWN.  Also, you've only been driving for like A YEAR, so I'm pretty sure you haven't noticed an increase in traffic since you were TWELVE.  Then he goes on to say that people now just don't know the roads and don't know how to drive.  Well, pardon me, young friend, but that may have something to do with how terribly these roads are planned out.  Most cities don't allow a four way intersection to have NO STOP SIGN OR STOPLIGHT and just rely on the thinking WHOEVER GETS THERE FIRST GETS TO GO.  Seriously, this kid was funny and annoying at the same time.  Then he says, "and there's just been so much crime."  Since I don't care about the news, local or otherwise, I said "oh, has there been a lot?"  And he says "Oh yeah!  Like a lot of burglaries....and rapes."  Oh boy.  Then he said "did you hear about the 83 year old?"  This story, I did actually know about.  An 83 year old woman was raped here last week by a 20-something year old man.  It's disgusting and it's scary and it's repulsive, but honestly, there are psychos and creeps in every town.  I don't need some high school kid talking to me about all the rapes happening.  Thankfully we pulled into the car shop about this time, so we got to end the ride on that lovely note.  I'm never surprised when I have such an awkward encounter with a local, I'm just....left wishing I didn't know English.

Today I got really (overly) frustrated when my phone wouldn't work.  I needed to go get Jacob from work to take him to pick up his car, but my phone wouldn't get any signal to call him to say I was on my way.  I've never been inside his office, so when I pick him up, he usually just comes out when I call.  I was getting so irritated that I couldn't get signal, so I turned my phone off and back on to try to get it back to normal.  Unfortunately this had the opposite effect that I wanted and the phone totally busted.  It reset itself to midnight of 1/1/2010, and still wouldn't get a signal.  After several minutes of frustration, I threw the phone down on the carpet in protest of it's stupidity.  What I did NOT anticipate was the strength in my rage that caused the phone to bounce 5 feet off the carpet, hit the tile, bust open, and the battery slid all the way underneath my refrigerator.  Advantage: Universe.  After a minute of realizing my adult sized hands wouldn't fit underneath, I was grabbing every large piece of paper or cardboard I could find.  Finally, with the help of my ASPCA calendar (SAVE AN ANIMAL!), I was able to fling the battery straight into my peering face.  BUT, I was able to get it, put my phone back together, and head out to get Jacob.  My phone never figured out the date or the time, but I was able to get signal a little while later, so I guess that's a start.

Tonight for dinner, I tried a new recipe for Sweet and Sour Chicken with Fried Rice. I was VERY hesitant with how it would turn out (the smell of vinegar and sesame oil was a bit too much for me) but it turned out pretty good. I wouldn't say its as good as take-out, but it was good. Jacob really loved it. He kept saying "put this on my list of best dishes" and I kept explaining to him that no such list exists. He seemed shocked by this revelation, but I told him that in order for me to compile a list of his favorite recipes, he needs to tell me when I make something that he really loves. He just laughed. Sometimes I say funny things I guess. Anyway, if you're interested in trying the recipe, here it is. Just to warn you, it's pretty time consuming. Good, but a lot of work.

Dance moms tonight was good, but confusing. One mom issued a cease and desist letter to the other moms because they were asking about her engagement ring. Uhhh what? I'm not sure you have any legal basis to threaten to sue people for discussing your marital status.  The whole thing just seemed very odd.  How can you threaten people you've been friends with for years because they want to talk to you about a major event in your life?  So strange.

I've been watching a lot of Criminal Minds recently. Like, a lot. I'm still not totally sold on the show, but I tell you what I am sold on is Shemar Moore.

Speaking of crime shows with handsome male leads, those of you with Netflix streaming should consider watching Luther, a BBC show about a detective starring Idris Elba. GRRRRRRR.
If you like law shows, it's really good. It's pretty dark, but really interesting. I think the first two seasons are a total of 10 episodes, so it'd be a pretty quick watch if you're interested.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Craft Attempt

Living in a town without any crafting store (minus the Dakota Sew & So) has really been killing my crafty spirit. There are so many projects I want to do, but have nowhere to buy the supplies. Two weekends ago, during our disaster trip to Bismarck, I decided to buy some supplies to make a yarn wreath, a project I've had my sights on for several months. If you've been on pinteresti at any point, you know what I mean when I say yarn wreath. If not, here's an example:
I would've just put a picture in, but since the Blogger app is crappy, you'll just have to copy and paste the link.

Anyways, I was really excited about doing the wreath, even more so when I found the EXACT shade of green yarn I wanted to use. I cannot stress to you enough how incredible of a find that was. You guys, I have FEELINGS about what shades of green I like, and I was going in with a super specific color in mind, so I'm shocked I found it. (ps, the pictures don't really do the color justice) Kudos to you, Vanna White, surprising yarn entrepreneur, for having amazing color choices. Having the materials I needed, I spent several hours last week plopped in front of the couch watching Criminal Minds, wrapping the yarn around my straw wreath. Once I had finished wrapping the whole thing, I LOVED it. I haven't decided what sort of accouterments I'll put on it, whether it will be flowers or just maybe an argyle pattern, that just depends, but I was happy with what I had so far. Cut to this Sunday, when Jacob and I had to run to the store really quickly, so we let the dogs stay out of their kennels for the first time in the house. I remembered how nervous Oscar gets when we leave, so I made sure to hide all our shoes so they would get chewed up and carried around the house. Unfortunately, I didn't think to move the wreath, which was on the floor in our spare bedroom. When we came home, I found one dog who looked very proud of himself, leading me to the scene of the crime, while the other dog, who had straw stuck to his lips, ran away from me. He ripped up one part of the wreath pretty good. He tore the yarn off and even pulled quite a bit of straw out of the plastic wrapping, but I really hope it's still salvageable. I'm hoping I can use a wide satin ribbon to cover up the torn spot, and that would be the ribbon that holds the wreath to the door hanger. I don't know, we'll see if I'm still able to use it, but even if I can't, I know it's a cheap project that I like enough to do again. That's a good attitude, right?!

Silly Andy

Patience, young Skywalker.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

A Rant about Church (hopefully minus the lightning)

Look, I've said it before and I'll say it again.  I have some issues with the Pastors at the church we go to.  Jacob and I go back and forth about where we should go to church here, but we just can't really find a place that seems to have what we're looking for.  In all fairness, we've only been to 2 churches....Anyways, the last several weeks, we've been going to the Bible church in town, mostly because I've been pushing for it.  The Pastor is doing a sermon series I really like, and I've really enjoyed most of what he has to say.  He's been going through the book of Genesis for a couple months now probably, and we're only on chapter 10, but it's really interesting.  I'm totally fascinated by the flood and Noah's faithfulness.  I'm pretty sure if I were in the same situation and I was building a boat for that long, I would totally let my neighbor's mocking get to me.  After about 3 weeks of that, I probably would've been embarrassed and been like "Ohhh, tricked ya!  I'm just makin a shed for my backyard.  Ark?  Come on, guys! What am I, some sort of nut? LOL!"  So I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had the faith to spend 100+ years building the ark and endure continual mocking and harassment from everyone around me.  Also, people give me weird looks now when I pull my car off the road when I see a stray dog, so I'm pretty sure if I went around corralling all the animals that exist, people would be like "this lady AGAIN?!  She needs to spend some time with people."  So anyway, I've really enjoyed hearing the Pastor go verse by verse and breaking down what certain things mean--things I've never given a second thought about.  Unfortunately, every week the Pastor seems to throw one little comment into the sermon that just really irritates me.  He'll say something, and then I'll look over at Jacob who's giving me a face that says "I know, I know.  We can discuss it in the car." and then I find myself furiously scratching notes down on the bulletin, so I remember to "discuss" (criticize) the Pastor all the way home.  Is that wrong?  Of course.  Should I be getting that frustrated at the Pastor's message? No, because I'm genuinely intrigued by 90% of what he has to say.  So here's what irritated me today.  We were discussing Genesis 9, God's covenant with Noah, and he was talking about God telling Noah about the importance of human life, and the need to protect it.  Verses 5-6 say "And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each human being, too, I will demand an accounting for the life of another human being.  Whoever sheds human blood, by humans shall their blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made mankind."  After reading this, the Pastor started talking about capital punishment.  Now, I will say, it wasn't like this immediately offended me.  I had a feeling he was going to go there with that verse.  I'm not super set on my views on capital punishment anyways.  I used to be a huge proponent of it, but now, not so much.  It's not something I have a super amount of passion about, but I certainly have my reservations with the whole idea of capital punishment.  So here's why it bothered me.  The Pastor read this verse a couple times and said "I believe this is God instituting government, and giving us the basis for capital punishment."  He went on awhile about this, which...again, I have my reservations, but okay, I'll listen.  I'll suspend my judgment for now.  So then he goes on to talk about how no one ever wants to read Exodus, Leviticus, or Deuteronomy because they're bunch of rules.  His example of how antiquated and silly these rules were was that according to one of these books, children who disobeyed their parents were to be stoned.  I can't even tell you how irritated that made me.  You can't discuss the importance of a law God laid out in the Old Testament and use it for your argument for such a controversial topic and then IMMEDIATELY discredit your theory by bringing up laws that follow it that no one uses or finds applicable anymore.  It's just so inconsistent, and if an atheist was listening they'd just be like "well, you just proved that those books aren't relevant anymore, so why should this capital punishment verse mean anything?"  I'm a Christian, and I don't understand his logic there.  So according to Genesis, the government should hold people responsible for murder by killing anyone who takes a life, but any laws laid out in Exodus, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy probably don't apply to us?  That doesn't even make sense.  At this point I was already irritated so it wasn't going to take much more for any of his comments to get my eyes rolling.  SURE ENOUGH, a few minutes later, he reads Genesis 9:7, "As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it.”  He talked about how it's projected that years from now, all of Europe will be Muslim because Muslim families are having like 8 children.  Then he criticizes Christian families because most people these days are limiting their number of children to 2.  He went off a little bit about how God wanted good Christian people to multiply and fill the Earth, and that it's crazy that people today are limiting the number of kids they have for selfish reasons.  Here's the thing, Pastor.  The Earth is pretty well good and full.  It's actually sort of overpopulated, so I wouldn't worry so much about the Earth getting filled up.  It seems like that's taken care of.  And I'm pretty sure that God's got it planned out for how many kids people should have, so that's probably not YOUR judgement call, but thanks, guy.  I mean, I know some people decide they only want a certain number of children because it costs so much financially to have a family, and I guess I could see his argument if he was saying that's not trusting that God will provide.  BUT, isn't it better that people try to be responsible and ensure they can protect and provide for the children they DO have?  And if you're telling everyone they just need to keep popping out babies till they are too old, you'd have a world full of Octo-Moms and Duggars.  I'm PRETTY sure we've got plenty of those, but thanks.  Don't get me wrong, I come from a big family and I LOVE it.  I love having a lot of siblings and I think my parents did a great job of making us all feel special and getting individual attention, but that's just not going to happen when people have 15 children.  I don't know, I was just really irritated at how critical he was of people not having a bazillion babies.  Sometimes, that's just not what's best for people.  And this Pastor only has 2 kids!! Gimme a break, dude.

Okay, now that I've spent an hour criticizing a Pastor, I'm pretty sure God's just like "oh, no, keep it coming, sister.  You're perfect, after all."

Besides my frustration today in church, we had a pretty good weekend.  We were dog-sitting Oscar's girlfriend, Bell, a yellow lab who is a beautiful, destructive lady.  I spent about an hour tonight sewing all of Andy's toys back up, since I found Bell biting holes in all of his toys all weekend.  Several times I spotted her walking around with a suspicious amount of stuffing stuck to her lips....It was pretty great though.  The dogs had a good time with a lady in the house, but she also completely wore them out.  Jacob and I had just finished bathing all three dogs (she didn't know to move out of the way when Oscar lifted his leg and she got peed on a few times) when her owner showed up to take her home.  I was sad to see her go, but I think the boys were relieved to be done with hosting duties.  They've been sleeping ever since.  That was 1pm.

Today I was on a bit of a baking rampage.  Well, that's kind of inaccurate since I only baked 2 things, but it felt like I was in the kitchen for about seven hours.  Jacob asked for chocolate chip cookies today, so we went to the store so I could get the stuff I needed.  I made those first (and ate about a dozen by myself), then got to work making Lemon Poppy Seed Muffins.  I haven't tried them yet, but they smell incredible. Jacob ate one with dinner and really liked it.  I'll let you know if they turn out to be terrible, but otherwise I think I would recommend them.  Go here for the recipe.

Well I'm off to bed.  Tomorrow is the day my car (SHOULD) be ready from the repair shop, and I'm so ready to have her back.  No offense to the Ford Focus I've been driving around, but I really miss the Camry.  We're just so in sync.

Thursday, March 15, 2012


After several hours of work, Jacob finished his other big Lego set, the Imperial Shuttle. Once he finished, he stood back, surveying it and said "it's just so elegant". I have no idea where we are putting this thing, but I think he seriously has thoughts of putting it in our art niche in the entryway.

Sleepy Hunter

Sometimes when you spend hours digging for rodents, you decide you don't want to be feral anymore and you just want to lay on a pillow.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

TV Watching

Since work was pretty boring and uneventful as was my trip to Walmart today I have very little to say. Even Dance Moms tonight was pretty anti-climactic, which is kind of an oxymoron, if you ask me. One thing I did notice in tonight's episode is the insane amount of self-tanner they put on these 10 year olds to sculpt their abs. One little girl in particular had a dark line down the center of her stomach. It looked she hid a Twix bar in her dance top and in the heat of the dance, the chocolate melted and dripped down her stomach. Okay SEMI-SPOILER ALERT here, but I just watched the part in tonight's episode where Nia completely freezes and forgets her dance in the competition and runs off the stage. I'm not kidding when I say I cried for her. She is so sweet and her mom seems so cool and normal and it breaks my heart to see that kind of stage fright kick in. But she picked herself up and asked to try the dance again. NIA IS A SURVIVOR, Y'ALL. Seriously, she's the coolest kid on the show for sure.


Okay I just finished Dance Moms and if you aren't watching this show yet, START NOW because next weeks episode looks really freaking good.

Today I was walking Oscar through the four empty lots I call Poop Field. Besides poop, it's filled with holes dug by some sort of wild animal. One of these holes must have been fresh with the scent of the animal because Oscar completely lost his mind when he walked past it. He's not a digger, but he dug for probably fifteen minutes before I stopped him. I think he would've dug forever if I'd let him. Or at least until he'd eaten some fresh game meat. He was able to dig a hole so deep that he could no longer use his front legs to dig while keeping his back legs out of the hole. His body was stretched out like a little accordion, so he turned and started working on a new, adjacent hole. When I finally pulled Oscar out of his hole, he was panting and grunting and looking around with feral eyes. Jacob managed to drag him back home, and Oscar drank a whole bowl of water and then spent fifteen minutes begging to go back out. You never realize exactly how feral your dog used to be until you see him digging after the scent of a wild animal.

Did any of you try to watch Fashion Star tonight? I really wanted to like it because Project Runway has gone down the drain so much since joining Lifetime. It's gone from being a show that discovers designers to a Real World type show where they cast big personalities who may or may not have any fashion training and/or skills. Anyways, back to Fashion Star-- I thought it was confusing. I never really got a clear understanding of the rules and I wasn't impressed by any of the pieces I saw. There was nothing new or innovative about any of the clothes I saw. I get that the clothes need to be salable, but if all of those pieces have been made before and seen thousands of times, what makes that designer special? I ended up turning it off halfway through because I felt like it needed serious direction. Also I was distracted because I hate Nicole Richie. Maybe I'm being too hard on the show. What did you think?

Now that I've finished this post, I'm realizing there is a lot more Dance Moms content than I expected for such a lackluster episode. Nevertheless, a good show is bound to start a discussion, am I right?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Short Update

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted, but it was a really long, draining, and emotionally exhausting weekend. Actually, on Friday, the weekend looked pretty promising. Jacob and I were both starving and I didn't feel like cooking, so he took me to Pizza Ranch, which is probably the most romantic date I can think of. Afterwards, we came home and watched the documentary "Conan O'Brien Can't Stop". It was pretty good, but probably not the best portrayal of Conan. It made me love Andy Richter even more, though, which is pretty impressive. After that was over, Jacob wasn't feeling great so he went to bed and I watched a scary movie by myself. Honestly, I thought it was going to be a great weekend. Saturday, however was rough. Not to go into the whole thing because it's a long story, but basically we went to Bismarck with some friends Saturday and it turned out to be one of the longest days of my life. We left Dickinson around 1:30 and told them we had to be back by 7pm because of the dogs. Fast forward to almost 2 am, and we are pulling into town physically and emotionally exhausted. When the best part of your day is spending 5 hours at Lowes watching 3 guys pick out material for 2 huge decks, it's not been a great day. I'll get into the whole thing another day, when I have more time, but trust me when I say it was a terrible weekend.

In about 7 minutes I'll be pulling my latest experiment out of the oven. I found a recipe for Apple Fritter Bread, which I was super excited about because it sounds awesome, but I should have known it far exceeded my baking abilities. The whole prep process took me like an hour and I'm pretty sure the bread isn't going to turn out right. I'd never even kneaded bread before, so I probably did that wrong, and then once I'd rolled the dough out, I poured the filling over it and that was a crazy mess. Once the bread was in the oven, I spent 20 minutes trying to clean the syrupy apple & brown sugar mess off of my counters. I'll let you know how it turns out, but I'm fairly certain it's going to be bad and it will have been a waste of time. Positive thinking, that's what I'm all about.

Let me just give you a little snapshot of my life right now. I had to go off of my Proactiv, and my face is disgusting. My face hasn't broken out this bad since high school. My hormones are raging a war within me and my skin is losing. I wonder if Jacob realized what he had in store when we got married; an emotional, hormonal monster who bloats and breaks out at the drop of a hat. That's true beauty.

Baking update: just pulled the bread out of the oven and half the dough was still raw. Yep, this is going to turn out great. Definitely not a waste of time. It's baked for 15 minutes longer than it was supposed to and it's still raw dough. Baking is the absolute worst.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Post Volleyball Aches

Tonight was my volleyball game, and we came so close to winning. We lost, of course, but even more unfortunate is the dive I took on the very first play of the game. I must have hit my knee at a weird angle because it hurt so bad I got goosebumps. At the end of the game, I rolled up my pants and the swelling was already so bad, everyone on my team was like "GO HOME AND ICE THAT". Currently I'm laying on my couch with my legs propped up and and the throbbing is still super intense, nearly 2 hours after it happened.  I even threw a bag of frozen peas on there....
  Please, no one tell Mom. I can't handle the lecture in addition to this pain.

Today, for the third day in a row, I went to Herbergers. Yesterday, I went and got another owl locket for Ashley. $15 for a baller owl necklace? You cannot beat that. I went today because they're doing a special sale that takes an additional 20% off anything in the store, and normally they have a bunch of exclusions on their coupons, so I was ready to take advantage. I got a pair of Emus, a poor man's version of Uggs. They're really good quality, unlike the cheap pair I got a few months ago, plus they're super warm, so I had to get them. I've had my eyes on them for a couple weeks since they went on clearance, but with the coupon today I decided to suck it up and buy them.

Regular price $100. Herbergers price $42. 
I also got this baller Columbia snowboarding jacket. It's super thick with a wind proof outside and removable fleece inside.   The one I got is red, so it's not quite as baller as this blue one, but still pretty legit.

Regular price $230. Herbergers price $40. 

Also, due to a request from Ashley, here is a picture of the store front of Herbergers.  You'll see where I came up with the nickname "the Ol Dusty Rose."  I don't get the impression that the company is too concerned about appearance.

Strictly Dance Moms

Okay so before I get into the specifics of this particular episode of Dance Moms, let me give you some background, in case anyone who doesn't watch wants to follow along. The main group featured on the show is a competitive squad from Abby Lee's school. The group is 6 girls (seven?) ranging from ages 7-14. They are extremely talented. Occasionally the viewer is treated to another group--the Candy Apples based out of Ohio (vs Abby in Pittsburgh). I can't figure out the ages of the girls in the Candy Apples group because I'm always too distracted by 5 year old Vivi-Ann, the dance instructor's daughter, who gets highlighted in each group dance, despite having no discernible skill. Despite Vivi's inclusion, and a young (presumably homosexual) young ginger boy, this group is...not good. Both Abby and Kathy, the owners of both dance studios are crazy, obnoxious, and delusional. Both are also very self-assured and egotistical. Also, they hate each other. All that drama combined with a group of dance moms who are catty, mean, and seemingly lacking common sense or moral standards and you've got a pretty dang good show.

You're going to wish I was kidding about this, but I most definitely am not. Last night when I sat down to watch the show, I was so enthralled by the first ten minutes, I had to pause it and go get paper and a pen to take notes on all the hilarity. Here are a list of the highlights from the episode:

We got a sneak peek into the home life of Kathy (Candy Apples owner). I was shocked to find her married, but less so once the husband started talking. He was discussing his new business venture, the beef jerky store he opened called "Tommy's Jerky Outlet". Boy if he isn't an entrepreneur, I don't know who is. Mark Zuckerberg has nothing on this guy.

During this jerky store discussion during breakfast, the camera man zooms in on Vivi, bored by her parents, eating cereal. Clearly 5 is not the age a child has developed good motor skills, because half of Vivi's cereal dribbles down her face as she tries to eat a spoonful. If someone could get me a screen grab of her with that dumb look on her face while as her spoon nearly misses her mouth, I would be eternally grateful.

Next, we see Abby working with her girls, discussing the group number they'll be competing with over the weekend. She comes up with the idea to have them dress up as showgirls, so they look nude, and dance with strategically placed oversized feather fans. From what I could tell, she was basically taking the "Sisters" dance from White Christmas, and having little girls dress like sluts to go along with it. The mothers all acted horrified at the idea of their ten year olds dancing on stage in bedazzled nude bras, but none of them actually objected to the idea or refused to allow their daughter to participate. Eh, what's the big deal, anyways? It's just a pedophile's dream. As rehearsals began, Abby insisted the girls learn this number perfectly because, according to her, "one day one of them is going to be a showgirl". She didn't say it in an insulting way, so I think she meant it as a compliment, which I find to be quite troublesome. Aren't showgirls just strippers that went to dance classes? They don't even earn tips!

Back to Kathy and her husband, who have decided she's going to direct a commercial for his jerky store, and feature some of her dancers. Mostly Vivi, who we've already learned does NOT have a good camera presence. When her husband tries to give input for HIS commercial, she tells him all he needs to do is "kick back with a couple of sausages around your neck". Oy. SAUSAGE AND JERKY AREN'T THE SAME THING.

Okay lets talk about this commercial. I'm not even going to address the fact that Kathy had a 12 year old girl wear a flesh colored body suit with beef jerky stapled to it. I really can't understand the motivation for a grown woman to degrade and mock a little girl. Does she think that's going to bring in business to her dance studio?? Sure, I mock Vivi, but it's out of love and the true enjoyment I get from watching her look confused and clueless.
Anyways, this commercial was easily the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Not even in a good way. I'm genuinely embarrassed for the Candy Apples and Kathy's husband. Even poor Vivi has figured out she got adopted by a couple of the biggest clowns on the planet, and she seems shocked that they are trying to pass themselves off as parents. I doubt the commercial actually ran, I'm sure they just put it on the show to be funny and get attention, but the jokes on them, because I have a feeling Tommy's Jerky Outlet has already closed for business.

Later in the show, once Abby's girls have performed their nearly naked number (which did not go over well with the judges), the dance moms have decided to throw an engagement party for one of the other Moms who HASN'T EVEN ADMITTED SHE'S ENGAGED. Naturally, the moms decided that (just like any engagement party) there needs to be a stripper. You might be asking yourself: where would these moms hold such a party for a woman who is secretive and private? Easy answer: IN THE DRESSING ROOM AT THEIR DAUGHTERS DANCE COMPETITION. Good grief. I have so many issues with the whole thing, I can't even tell you. The stripper even comes into the dressing room when the girls are in there and is like "I'm here to fix the heat". One mom starts to scoot the girls out the room, but they're understandably suspicious, and the 14 year old has clearly figured out that dude is about to get naked in front of her (married) mom, who is nearly foaming at the mouth. The engaged mom gets upset and offended, because she's normal, and storms off. Another mom is irritated by how the whole thing played out and says, "Melissa has no problem letting our daughters dress up like showgirls, but when we bring in a stripper, she acts like she's above it all.". Again, I get that this was done for the show. I don't think these women would have hired a stripper for their friend, knowing she'd get upset if the cameras couldn't be there, but the fact that their daughters were there and will put it all together (if they didn't already) when they see the show is so appalling to me. And any woman that would let their young daughter within breathing distance of a stripper should probably have CPS called on them.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Okay I'm working on my post for today, but there's no way I'll get it done tonight, so I'll try to finish and post it tomorrow afternoon sometime, so be watching for that. Fair warning, though, the entire post will be my breakdown of tonight's episode of Dance Moms. So if you watch the show and are caught up, I'm sure you already know what I'm going to say. If you're not watching the show....girl, you crazy.

Such An Angel

I love him.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Animal Pics=Great Post

Today was a great day. Busy day of work, but it went fast and the weather was incredible, so I can't complain.  Also, they came by today to build the railing for our front steps, and I'm really happy with how it turned out.  Hopefully tomorrow I can get a good picture to put up.  It's nice to know that now Oscar can't leap head first off the front steps directly into snow.  He likes to do that because he knows it freaks me out.

Well between a doctors appointment, a long conversation with my sister, and making dinner, I've run out of time for anything entertaining to happen, so I'll leave you all with a few of my favorite "First World Problems: Dog/Cat" that I spent ENTIRELY too much time going through.  I can't help how much I love these.  I'm an easy sell when it comes to animal humor.  Cat with a party hat on?  HILARIOUS birthday card.  Monkey covering his eyes?  GREAT premise for get well card.  Seriously, if you ever want to send me a card, I promise I will love it if there's an animal on there.  The front could just have a picture of a fat cat and the inside could say "Happy Birthday, fatty" and I'd hang it on my fridge.  Anyways, enjoy these pictures.  I got a good laugh out of them.

 And for good measure, since it makes me laugh LITERALLY every time I see it:
 Oh man.  I could look at that insanity puppy all day long and laugh. 
What the heck, here's another:

Okay well tomorrow afternoon I'm making a trip to Herbergers to search out some good jewelry deals for Ashley.  If anyone else has any requests, let me know.  Hopefully tomorrow I'll be reporting back with great finds!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

New Additions

Well the couch situation got sorted out just fine on Friday, and I didn't even have to fight anyone.  Here's a picture of the basement looking a bit more like a living space.  It's kinda hard to see, since everything is brown, but that's the sectional with a recliner in front on the right side.  You'll notice again, everything is color-coordinated to match Andy.
 Also, last week the guy came and put on our drawer pulls, which I am SO excited about.  Mostly because our drawers are those self-closing ones, which is pretty great, but it also makes them nearly impossible to open without a pull.  You need a lot more muscle than you'd think.  I'm so happy to have these pulls.  Also, you might notice Jacob in the back, working on his to-do list.
This weekend I was on a crusade to buy some jewelry at Herbergers because they had some cute Fossil stuff on clearance.  Add that to the 20% coupon I had, and I got these two necklaces for less than $30.  HIYO!!

Technically this isn't the same as the necklace I got.  Mine is silver, not brass.  But it is just as awesome.  It's seriously probably one of the coolest things I own.  There are matching earrings that I'm seriously considering buying, even though my ears aren't pierced.  (Which I'll get to in just a second)
I don't own this necklace, because SOMEONE (Dana) told me it was too gaudy and huge, but I think it's cute.  There's no way I could pull it off since I don't wear much jewelry, and it's too girly for me, but just so you guys know, it's a $60 necklace on clearance for like $10 at Herbergers.  If you're interested, let me know.  I'm always happy to snatch great deals from the Ol Dusty Rose.
Here are the earrings that match the locket I bought.  I can't tell you how much I love them.  They're like $12, and it's so tempting to buy and just get my ears pierced.  I probably need a better reason than cheap owl earrings to get my ears pierced, though, right?  Or do I?......

Ashley--this next story is for you:  So let me preface this by saying I HATE the sound of nail clippers.  Something about that clicking noise, knowing that dirty nails are flying through the air just makes my skin crawl.  Not only do I hate the sound, I also hate to see people clip their nails.  It makes me beyond nauseous, and I don't understand why people think it's okay to do in front of people.  Jacob has learned in these 3 1/2 years that the only place in the house that's acceptable for cutting his nails or toe nails is in the bathroom, over the trashcan.  If I find ONE wayward nail, IT'S ON.  One time, when we had people over, someone was picking at their toenails, and when they left, I found a giant toenail on my carpet.  I could have vomited on their face.   So cut to today, at the end of church--we've just finished communion, and the Pastor has us all standing up for the Benediction.  He's in the middle of his prayer and I hear a clicking sound that brought bile into my mouth.  I look over my shoulder, and SURE ENOUGH, this 30 year old lady is just clippin away.  DURING CHURCH.  DURING A PRAYER.  What makes people so terrible?  I ask that as an honest question.  How can you possible not realize that's going to bother/disgust people.  Seriously so disgusting.  And it's not like she's going to collect those nails and carry them to a trash can.  No, she's going to let them stay where they land.  So next week, some poor schmuck is going to come along and open up to Genesis 7, and there's just gonna be a big thumb nail waiting for them.  Gross.  That lady has just entered the enemy list.  FYI, that is not a great place to be. 

Friday, March 2, 2012

Day Off!

I went into overtime yesterday, so I got today off! Yippee! Unfortunately I'm spending it on hold with Ashley Furniture because they gave us the wrong pieces for our sectional when Jacob went to pick it up yesterday. Super annoying. Let's just say if they try to tell me I have to bring the piece back that's wrong versus them picking it up-- HEADS WILL ROLL. The same can be said if they ordered the wrong parts and we have to wait another five weeks for the correct piece. Jacob is the opposite of angry or hot-headed, but I would NOT envy them if Jacob finds out we have to wait another five weeks. Okay they're scrambling and needed to call me back which means, I'm assuming, they really screwed up and don't know what to do. This should be an interesting conversation when they call back. Alright I need to go make my breakfast.