Today was an uncharacteristically beautiful day. Even though we're supposed to get snow this weekend, the high today ended up being 65!! God was obviously giving me a pretty day, and basically poking it in my face like "get outside and enjoy this because I don't want to hear you complaining until June." Jacob may have also said that.... So I got my head out of my butt long enough to really enjoy it. I took the dogs to the park, along with my neighbor, and Oscar's girlfriend. We were the only ones there, so the boys just kinda walked around and peed on stuff. So overall, a phenomenal trip for them. Then we came home and I took Oscar for a walk. Andy refused.
I went to Walmart today to get a few things, most importantly a (belated) birthday card for my mom. While I was there, I also was in search of a pair of windpants. I've heard the worst thing about the winter weather here is the wind. It can cut through your clothes and hats and gloves, and unfortunately, I don't own a single pair of windpants. Never been a big fan of the whooshing, personally. I don't care what Jerry Seinfeld says, despite how lazy I look, I've always been more of a sweatpants kinda gal.
While walking through the store, I was getting shocked every three to four seconds by my cart. How is that possible? I wasn't even taking my hands off my cart, I would just be pushing it along and shock....shock....shock. Very annoying. So I was walking around the store, every few seconds going "OW! THAT HURT!" I got some pretty awesome looks. You know you're acting like a weirdo when you stand out in Walmart....I sort of suspect the shocking was due to the faulty wheels on my cart. I didn't notice right away, but discovered at some point that my cart was making strange noises and felt weird. I noticed that a Jolly Rancher was stuck to one of the wheels, causing it to come slightly off the ground with each wheel rotation. How it wasn't just breaking the Jolly Rancher, I'm not sure, but I wasn't about to reach down there and rip it off. So now I'm walking around like I have tourettes yelling ouch each time I get shocked, and my cart is making a "thunk" noise each time the Jolly Rancher comes around and the wheel comes up then hits the ground. Let's just say you could hear me coming from a few aisles away. Towards the end of the trip, the Jolly Rancher got dislodged and before I could stop, got stuck to my shoe. Again, I wasn't going to reach down and pull it off, because obviously it was wet,and I didn't need anyone's floor saliva on my hands. So now I'm walking around doing a half goose step to stomp the Jolly Rancher off, while pushing my cart way ahead of me with my arms fully extended to make way for my leg to kick out, STILL getting shocked. I finally got the Jolly Rancher off, but not without some damage to my ego.
During this whole debacle (before the goose stepping) I was behind a lady turning onto the chip aisle, where I also was headed. She may have also had some sort of hard candy stuck to her wheel because she couldn't control her basket and took the corner too tight, knocking into the end display of Pringles. In doing so, she managed to break the cardboard shelving the Pringles were on, sending about 20 cans of Pringles rolling. Her response? A slightly irritated glance over her shoulder before continuing on down the aisle. Yep, no big deal. That's probably how they wanted it anyways. And I bet no one is even going to slip on these cans, so you're probably fine. What's MOST important is you don't forget the Fritos you came on this aisle for. Seriously, what's the matter with people?
When I finally made my way towards the checkout line, I noticed that several of the cashiers were in Halloween costumes, which is pretty awesome, I think. A couple older ladies had matching shirts on that said "This is my costume", which is the exact amount of laziness I would put into mine, so I can't hate on that. My favorite, though, was the one worn by the cashier that always gives me trouble. See, this cashier is of indeterminate gender, and he/she's name doesn't help. It's something like Pat or Robin. Anyway, shim's nice enough, but I get very confused as to he/she's gender, and today shim really stepped it up. Black pants, a black shirt that just said "Wicked" on it, and a floor-length cape, all complimenting the especially greasy shoulder length black hair, the black finger nails, and the wand (which constantly had to be put down to scan the items). Shim legitimately looked like a sexually ambiguous, overweight Severus Snape. If I had to guess, I'd say Pat's a witch (wizard?) in real life.