Thursday, October 13, 2011

Hayley-1, Librarian-0

Mission Accomplished, friends!  I got a library card!!  It was a lot more difficult than I expected though, because the librarian had something stuck up her butt.  I walked in and waited at the circulation desk while two librarians, both of whom saw me, continued their conversation.  After a few minutes, one came over and I said I wanted to get a library card.  Her response was a very exasperated "You have to have a photo id and physical proof that you actually live here in Dickinson."  I was prepared for this, so I brought some mail that was addressed to me, I told her "I have a card that came in the mail and has my name and address. That works, right?"  Her response was "is that all you have?"  Now this confused me, because it did not answer my question.  Not only that, the card did fulfill the requirements-it had my name and my address and it had been postmarked, so clearly it had gone through the mail.  So I responded, "Ummm, does this not work?  It has my name and address."  Her response AGAIN was "You don't have anything else?"  STILL NOT ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS, LADY.  So I said "This is the only piece of mail that came with my name on it.  I'm not sure why this wouldn't be a physical proof of address."  She seemed very irritated by this, and grabbed the card out of my hand, rolling her eyes.  Lady, I promise, you don't want to start an eye-rolling war with me BECAUSE I WILL WIN.  She handed me a form to fill out with my information, and when she saw my Texas licence and that my "emergency contact" was someone in Texas, you could tell she was thinking "Oh boy, she's stealing these books and we'll never get them back!"  That's right lady, that's my scam.  I relocate across the country, check out a few library books and then keep them.  It's the short grift, and it works every time....Ultimately, she (very reluctantly) handed me a library card and asked me if I needed anything, but I said I was just going to browse.  Her response "well please just keep it down."..........................................PARDON?!  Okay first of all, this is not my first time in a library.  Second of all, the only time I've made any noise in here is talking to YOU.  I didn't even make a sound when you ignored me to talk to your fellow librarian about your favorite kind of tea (herbal).  Third of all, there is only one other person in this library, and he's on the computer with his headphones in, and I'm fairly certain watching porn, so.....I should be the least of your concerns.  Other than the uptight librarians, the visit wasn't too bad.  Yeah, the library here is pretty small, but that is to be expected in a town this size, and they actually had several of the books that I wanted.  As I was browsing through their selection of new fiction, I did notice several of the books had a terrible smell, and even though they were listed as "NEW", they were older books.  Maybe in this library, new means they didn't have that book before, as opposed to it just being published.  Based on the smell of these books, I'd say they came from the estate of a hoarder, who had died on top of a pile of books.   Whatever, I'm no hater.  I got Middlesex, The Bone Collector, "A" is for Alibi, "B" is for Burglar, and "C" is for Corpse and I can't wait to start them. The hardest part for me is figuring out which one to start first. 

Tonight was the last night for Jacob's flag football team. They went undefeated in the regular season, and tonight was the playoffs.  They won their first two games tonight, but lost in the championship game.  It kinda sucked because the guys they were playing were super douchey.  Not only were they talking a crazy amount of crap, but they started talking crap about us wives watching and cheering for our team!  Who does that?!  They would stand right in front of us and mock us for being there.  Sorry you're single, guy, but most likely it's for the long-haul because you're a total dick.  I'm not sure what makes a grown man mock a group of women, but it's not  a great trait.  It was soooo cold out there tonight.  We were out there for three hours and when I got back to my car, the temperature was 42.  Eeks. It's been two hours and I JUST got the feeling back in my toes.  It is going to be a long and miserable winter, friends.  But, as Dana pointed out, I could probably fix that discomfort by finding some sweet warm boots at Herbergers.  A shopping I shall go!  And, no, Tom, I don't plan on buying any of your battery-operated heater socks. 

1 comment:

  1. hahahahaha this is great! You're better than me, I don't think I would've been able to keep quiet to her.
    I can't wait till I am out of school and can read more fun books!