Body of an 80 Year Old, Mind of a 7 Year Old

Today was my long run, which has left me virtually paralyzed from hip flexors down.  Okay, that's an exaggeration, but I do feel like my insides are rusting, and I'm super sore.  Every week of training that goes by, I realize I'm just not cut out to be a runner.  Last week, during my 8 mile run, I pretty much needed some Oops I Crapped My Pants (Blamo! 1998 SNL reference!), and today for my 9 mile run, I was pretty much praying for the Apocalypse.  Also, I was getting really hungry, and was praying for the Four Horsemeals of the EggPorkalypse.

Seriously, this run today was just straight up miserable.  Thankfully the Imodium worked!  Huzzah!  But that's really the only good thing about it.  I was so tired I could barely move, and at times it felt like I was going backwards.  You know how sometimes you see old people out walking, and they're so old that they can just barely get along, but you're proud of them for trying?  Those old people were SMOKING me on the track.  There was this one old guy, you could just tell he was pretty feisty.  I half expected him to pass me, and give me a little smack on the butt and be like "try to keep up, hussy!"  But give me a break, you know?  I had to do 81 laps!  So what if my time would have failed me for the Presidential Physical Fitness Test.     

A lot of times, when I take the dogs out, they really like to smell piles of poop from other dogs.  I know that's really gross, but they like it.  They don't get into it or anything, it's just funny to watch them, when their body language changes, and you know they've caught a scent, and I'll see the pile of poop, but they're relying on their sense of smell to find it, and when they do, they always just stumble onto it, like "AH-HA!  IT'S POOP THIS TIME!"  It's poop, every time, silly.  Occasionally Andy likes to pull out one of his favorite tricks, which is to line himself up just right so he pees on the poop.  Then, he immediately kicks it out and looks at me, like "Did you see that Mom??!?! Are you proud?!"  And you know what?  I always am.  Today, on our walk, Andy found the perfect little pile to pee on, and as he was kicking it out afterwards, I started thinking if maybe that was like the ultimate in being a dominate dog.  I wonder if that's their way of being like "I OWN you!  TAKE THAT!", but surely that's not being more dominate than humping, right?  Thankfully Andy and Oscar don't hump dogs very often, so maybe my dogs are just really passive-aggressive dominaters.  Maybe that's their way of stickin it to other dogs without literally sticking it to them. 

Jacob called me today from Colorado, telling me that they were at Target.  I, of course, was super jealous, but he asked me if there was anything I wanted him to look for.  I asked him to look for some fake Uggs for me (MY FEET GET COLD, OKAY), but unfortunately he couldn't find any that would work.  Here's just one example why I love Jacob-he's thoughtful enough to shop for me, and doesn't judge me when I want to buy something extremely ugly and ridiculous.  He's the best.

Tonight I watched Hanna, with Eric Bana, Cate Blanchett and Saoirse Ronan.  It's definitely an interesting concept-a man raising his daughter in isolation, training her to become a skilled assassin.  I was really distracted by Saoirse, who played Hanna, because she was the girl in The Lovely Bones, which I HATED.  The first half of the movie was really interesting, and held my attention really well, but at some point it dropped off for me, and I found myself only half listening.  Sadly, the other half of me wasn't doing anything.  I just kept drinking my Dr. Pepper, and would realize I had no idea what happened for the last 10 minutes.  I probably wouldn't watch it again, but it was certainly worth the free Redbox rental.  Overall, I'd rate it 3 stars on Netflix.

Mission accomplished!  On my walk with the boys today, some guy who was working at a house we passed looked at us and said to me "who's walkin who?", so I got to use my "workin hard, or hardly workin?" line.  He was understandably confused, and I laughed and kept on going.  Since I've already used that line, I need to figure out what I'm going to say the next time someone asks me who's walking who.  I'm workshopping a couple things, but so far, I'm thinking I'll just say "IT'S WHOM! WHO'S WALKING WHOM!!" or, I might say "Well obviously they're both walking me, because I'm blind."  The trick to that one will be to maintain eye contact to really confuse them.

In just a little bit, I'm going to be making some spicy thai noodles, a recipe I found earlier this week.  They sound really really good and all the comments are really positive, so I'm excited to try them.  The recipe says they need to be served cold, and to chill them overnight, which is why I'm about to make them now.  If they're good, I'll post the recipe for you guys.  If they're not...we'll pretend like this never happened.