Yesterday we worked around the house for about 12 hours straight. I can't even remember now what all we worked on, but I know I spent about 6 hours straight in the kitchen getting food ready for today. I made salsa and a cheeseball and then had to make dinner for us. After dinner, I immediately made chocolate chip cookies from scratch. When all of that was finally done, I spent another 30 minutes just trying to get the kitchen clean enough to run the dishwasher. When all that was done, all I wanted to do was lay down on the floor next to Oscar. After about 27 seconds on the ground Jacob decided I need to get up and help him hang pictures around the house. Despite me saying I was tired and not feeling well, we spent the next hour deciding where our pictures and paintings would go. I was given the crucial job of holding the shop-vac in the air while he drilled holes so I could catch the dust particles as they floated in the air, versus once they reach the ground, which OBVIOUSLY IS NO GOOD. Once I finally told Jacob flat out I was done helping, he agreed he was tired enough to go to bed, so we laid down. This morning I was woken up by the sound of the hammer. I stayed in bed for a bit, hoping to fall back asleep, which didn't work since the hammer didn't stop. Several minutes later, when the hammer stopped, Jacob came into our bedroom and said "Are you getting up soon? I need your help to hang some of these pictures. I didn't want to do it while you were sleeping." WELL THAT'S A LIE SINCE I JUST HEARD YOU. So I got up, and realized how eager Jacob really was to get to chores. I had only made it from the bed to the toilet and Jacob was like "can you come look at this picture and see if you like it?" Well not right now since I'm going to the bathroom. A minute later, as I was brushing my teeth, Jacob comes in, wanting to hang some pictures in our bathroom. So here I am, brushing my teeth, while Jacob's asking me to hand him nails and his hammer and other tools. Next, I'm washing my face, and as my hands are completely lathered with soap, and my eyes are clinched shut so I can't get any soap in, Jacob's asking me to look at the placement of the pictures to see if I like it. CAN'T I HAVE A MOMENT'S PEACE?!?!?! Once I finished my selfish hygienic routine, I had to come into the kitchen and wash some dishes and get the dishwasher started. This is all BEFORE getting myself ready for church. Once I finally got the dishes done and sat down to put my makeup on, Jacob goes "ummm...are you gonna be ready in 20 minutes?" Listen guy, this is not a great start for you. The day continued on in this vein and the minute we got back from church it was clean, cook, clean, cook, etc. By the time people showed up, I was so exhausted I think I could have slept through the entire game. I really tried to be a friendly, nice hostess, but I'm not sure it worked....
At least this year everyone was pretty well behaved. No one spit out the food I made and called it disgusting like happened a couple years ago. Forgive and Forget? I'm not sure I know what that means....Anyways, everyone was nice, and I think most of them were just excited about free food and beer and a projector. However....one of the guys Jacob invited got on my nerves pretty quickly. He wasn't on the original email Jacob sent out, but since all of his friends were, Jacob knew he'd find out, and he didn't want to leave him out, so he sent him a text last night telling him about it. He got an immediate text back saying "I'll be there. I've got a pork loin sitting out now." Umm--what? UGH. So sure enough, as people were trickling in today, I started getting out all the food, trying to find serving dishes and whatnot to have the food in, and in steps pork boy, with a bag of trailmix in one hand and about 10 potholders and a pork loin in the other. He walks up to me (keep in mind we've only met once) and is giving me instructions on what to do, telling me to get the potholder to set the pork down. I wanted to be like "Uh, cowboy this is my house and I'm a little busy trying to feed the people huddled around this island like feral animals, so why don't you ask someone else for help with your pork loin." He asks me for a knife to cut the meat, and since I'm not a pork loin kinda girl, I didn't know what type, so I gave him a couple of options, both of which he turned his nose up at. I offered him another to which he said "ugh, I guess I can make it work." If you can't, I'll make it work on your entrails, fella, so it's best if you take it from me right now. I hand him the knife and try to get back to what I was doing, but then he needed me to get him a cutting board (he wasn't crazy about the one I gave him). Overall, I'd say he barely made it out alive in those first five minutes. Later in the night, he proceeded to come into the kitchen and pour an entire bottle of beer down the drain, telling me "I always want to like Fat Tire, but I just don't. They're just not good." SO WHY DID YOU GRAB ONE?! There were like four different kinds of beer in the fridge, and he decided to waste one of the more expensive ones.
Besides those irritations caused by one person, the night was fine, it was just so hard for me to enjoy it because I was so tired the whole time. It was also a little awkward since it was like 10 guys and only 2 other girls came, so the guys were hogging the room downstairs with the projector, and the girls got stuck upstairs, and I think both the other girls wanted to be downstairs watching on the projector with their husbands but there wasn't enough room. Oh well.....
Now, here it is, almost 10:30, and I'm still grumpy. As I was cleaning up the kitchen, I said to Jacob "well I guess I'll go start the laundry......." hoping I'd guilt him into giving me a foot massage or SOMETHING because of all the crap I had to do this weekend, and now I have four hours of laundry still to do. Instead, he responds with "Yeah. I think I'm going to go to bed soon. I'm pretty tired."
Also, here's the perfect end to the day. I just went into the laundry room to put a new load into the washer, and somehow as I was bending and turning to put clothes in the dryer, my belt loop slipped entirely over the door handle (it's a lever, not a knob) and as I stood up and tried to move, the door handle pulled my jeans up and gave me the most massive and painful wedgie I've ever had in my entire life. That's about right. Well played, door handle.
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