Oscars Red Carpet

6:20 Angelina, snoozeville.

6:14 I'm so bored with this round table and only showing one picture every six minutes. I'm going back to my boiled chicken.

6:09. Seriously, where did Ryan go? Why can we only get still shots of the celebrities?

5:59 eww Gwyneth. That's not helping with the pretentious vibe you give off.

5:57. Has Ryan decided the Bisquick on his suit was too much? Why aren't they interviewing anyone? So boring.

5:54. Really? A Vampire Diaries discussion? LET ME SEE GOWNS!!

5:42. I have to agree with Guiliana and Kelly. Emma stones dress is way to close to Nicole Kidmans Balenciaga.

5:34. "the perks of dating George Clooney" is what Guiliana said about Stacy Kiebler. I love that "she's a nobody but she's dating the biggest star in the world, so she is in the best dress here today". Jealous much, G?

5:27. Emma Stone, I really love you.

5:23. Jennifer Lopez looks exactly the way I would expect. Desperate and flashy. She doesn't disappoint, I'll say that.

5:22 Tina Fey looks awesome in Carolina Herrera.

5:16 Ryan is SO PISSED at Sascha Baron Cohen. Hilarious. That's amazing. Thank you, Sascha.

5:12. One day Kristen Wiig will wear something that isn't brown or flesh-toned. That will be a great day.

5:11 Kate Mara's dress is baller.

5:05. I love Maya Rudolph. I wish we could be friends. Also, I love her dress.

5:03. Moment of truth--Kristen Wiig showed up. Wonder if she's wearing Zac Posen.

5:02. I love that Jonah Hill basically just admitted that 21 Jump Street looks terrible. That's very refreshing.

5:00 The scroll at the bottom of the screen says Jessica Chastain adopted a three legged dog. I HAVE A NEW FAVORITE ACTRESS

4:59. Dare I say, I think Glenn Close looks pretty dang good.

4:55 Rooney Mara couldn't have any less of a personality.

4:53. LOVE this conversation between Michelle Williams and Ryan. Trying to decide the color of her dress and she says "maybe pomegranate?" Ryan says "no, pomegranate is redder". SHUT DOWN! So hilarious.

4:49. Rooney Mara's hair looks like Olive Oyl. I'm sure that was intentional, but it takes her edginess away when you look like a wimpy cartoon.

4:45. How many kittens were in the limo with P Diddy? Why has his assistant been lint rolling him for the past three minutes?

4:42. Viola, I'm undecided on that dress. I felt like it was too much boob when Sandra Bullock wore the same top in red last (?) year. I just don't know.

4:28. Well Michelle Williams isn't wearing the dress I picked out for her. It's irritating, but it's the life of a fake stylist.

4:24. I am sad for Jessica Chastain and how star struck she is with seacrest.

4:21. Oh Shailene. You could do a lot better than that. "studying to become an herbalist". I was wondering why she seemed high.

4:20. Jessica Chastain looks FLAWLESS

4:20. Jane Seymour is a total cougar.

4:19 I'm sure the Fashion Police will hate Melissa McCarthys dress, but I think she looks great. She's got such a pretty face. Love her.

4:18. Stacy kiebler in the tacky Marchesa!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL

4:11. Bernice Bejo--she IS wearing my Elie Saab. Perfection.

4:10. Did Ellie Kemper get implants in preparation for the Oscars? Love the color of her dress.

4:07. Rose Byrne, I can see every bone in your body. You'd look beautiful with twenty more lbs.

4:06. Sorry Wolfgang, but that food looks gross. Here's why I couldn't be a successful actress. I'd show up and be like "lamb? No...are here any tacos?"

4:01. Ben Lyons, no one wants to see you. We're just watching for the gowns.

3:59. Mills jovavich looks baller in Elie Saab. Great pick.

3:53 IS BERNICE BEJO WEARING MY ELIE SAAB!?!?!?

3:51. Poor Missi Pyle. I can't look at her without seeing the gremlin she plays in Dodgeball.

I'm going to take this moment to brag on myself for a bit. While at the gym, I was watching the pre-red carpet show on E! and they were discussing which stars they were excited to see and picking dresses out for them. When they got to Michelle Williams, they picked out the same Oscar de la Renta dress I picked out for her!! That's legit you guys. She may not show up in the dress, but I would just it to go on the record that I picked out the same dress for someone as a professional stylist did.

I'm already live! I forgot how boring it is at first when no one has shown up. Looks like I have some time to sort the laundry.

Not gonna lie, I almost put the Badgley Mischka dress Kelly is wearing on my list yesterday.

Just got home from the gym. Time to start the red carpet coverage on E! I'll be behind for a bit. Here we go.