Sunday, January 15, 2012

Golden globe live blog

Enjoy the show everyone. Time for me to eat dinner and enjoy Ricky's genius. We'll talk about the fashion tomorrow. Think about your favorites and the ones you hate.

6:00 time for the big show. I can't wait for this monologue by Ricky. It's gonna be epic.

5:58. Yep. There it is. I just don't love Angelina or that dress.

5:55. Oh boy time for Ryan and Giuliana to run down the fashion. Wait for Ross to drool over Angelina jolie

5:54 Elle that dress is bananas, lady

5:46. Leo looks 30 going on 86. Jessica alba has even less personality than I would have imagined. Twice she responded to a question saying "I'm good Ryan how are you?"

5:45 Ryan is very nervous about the announcer telling people to go inside. He's only asking people like one question each. It's cool, dude. There is still fifteen minutes.

5:44. Camera cut to Jessica biel. Ring or no ring?!?

5:43. Not to be mean, but Jenna Dewan looks like a muppet.

5:41. Ryan trying to kiss up to Madonna is hilarious. Please ask her what part of Detroit gives you a British accent. $100 to the first person to give Madonna a bouquet of hydrangeas. I'd love to see her disgust live. Seeing Madonna talk is freaking me out because you can see where all her fillers are.

5:40. Emma stone in lanvin looks pretty awesome. I could do without the terrible belt.

5:38. Lea Michele looks very...old. Of fraking course it's marchesa. That's about right.

5:38. Diana agron why do you fight your pretty?!?!

5:34. Looking at the glam cam 360, Sofia vergaras dress is almost a bit too much for me. Is it FURRY from the hips down???

5:32. Jimmy Fallon is holding back the gay jokes while talking to Ryan. Mallory-I mean Reese Witherspoon looks great but went A BIT too heavy on the hair extensions and teasing comb.

5:26. Giuliana is making fun of Sarah hyland for her zipper busting on the red carpet. Perfect thing to say to a 20 year old " you broke your dress on national tv!! OMG LOL!!"

5:23. Have I ever said how much I despise Michelle Williams. So pretentious.

5:19 the oven is warming up so I've run downstairs to watch. Earn is interviewing brangie OF FREAKING COURSE. I missed who made her dress though. I kind of hate it. It reminds me of Natalie Portmans viktor and Rolf from last year.

Well looks like this live blogging isn't fitting into Jacobs schedule. He wants me to do menial things like "make dinner" and "help with chores". I'll get back to the red carpet ASAP.

5:03. Kristen wiig, I don't know how many times to say you should not have brown hair. Also, that dress is WAY too similar to the Zac Posen she wore for the Emmys.

5:02. Ross and Kelly freaking out about brad Pitt opening the limo door. Great broadcasting!! Kelly, that grey hair is NOT working for you.

5:01. First brangie sighting. Cue thousands of freaks fainting. How many times in the next hour will the cameras cut to them walking on the carpet. More than 20?

4:59. Does Zooey have Elvis sideburns attached to that wig?!?!? I can't even focus on her dress. That hair is so terribly distracting.

4:57. Viola Davis looks PERFECT. Seriously. Perfect.

4:56. Bryan Cranston looks good, but I prefer him him as a crazy chemistry teacher/ drug dealer.

4:54. Camera cut to Charlize Theron. I could do without the headband but otherwise LOVE.

4:49. How long will it take for Rooney Mara to complain about every job she's ever had to Ryan? Boy she's as dull as dishwater.

4:46. From far away Julie Bowen looks like grace Kelly. Up close I'm.....not crazy about that hair. Reem acra showdown between Julie Bowen and Diane lane. Advantage Julie.

4:45. Rooney Mara looks beautiful but she needs about four inches taken off that dress. If she falls on her face, she'll have to laugh for the first time in the last year, right?

4:44 freida pinto is one of the most beautiful people ever and that dead looks like she's hiding European shams on her bottom.

4:42. Sofia vergara, you look great in your dress but you've worn at least 58 variations. Try something new!

4:41 camera is on Sarah hyland. Love the silhouette of the dress but the color isn't my favorite.

4:38. Camera just cut to Claire Danes because Diane lane and her husband were so boring. Claire looks flawless as always. She also looks miserable. As always.

4:36. Diane lane do you want to give me your dress? I'm about eleven sizes bigger than you but I'll take it.

4:34 I should have known Jacob wouldn't let me sit down for more than three minutes. SMG! I knew Monique llhuillier ripped off Christian Siriano. I forgot how terrible SMGs voice is. Love to her though she still looks awesome.

4:29. Nicole Ritchie bleach. Perfect time to go downstairs and help Jacob with the blinds

4:29. Look George clooney brought his Barbie!

4:28. Paula Patton I want that dress. Octavia spencer, great seas color, horrible hair

4:27. Giuliana is back to work? She seriously needs to take some time off.

4:23. SMG that's gotta be Christian Siriano right? They need to interview her so I can see that dress. I guess it could also be llhuillier(?) because I thought she copied him in her last collection.

Sorry. Late start because the directv guy just left and I've been making scones. Time to turn on e!

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