When Realtors Attack

On Tuesday, when we were still in Vegas, we got a call from our realtor, which we knew would be bad news.  KEEP IN MIND AT THIS POINT WE'RE 9 DAYS FROM CLOSING.  So our realtor told Jacob that our house will not be finished for closing on the 15th.  She said it's impossible.   Jacob told her he was disappointed, since we made it very clear a few weeks ago that they should alert us the moment they find out it won't be ready on time.  Something tells me they figured this out before Tuesday, but just didn't feel like telling us.  Jacob told her he thought it was unacceptable for them to not finish when they were supposed to, since they've had this date for the past four months.  She IMMEDIATELY ripped into him, saying she's told us from the beginning that we can't rush the last two weeks because there is so much little stuff to get done.  Here's the thing, jackass, I wouldn't say we've got little things left, so much as we have the painting, the cabinets, the plumbing, the electrical, the flooring, the trim, the appliances and the cleaning.  TO ME THAT SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF BIG THINGS.  Jacob tried to explain that we were just frustrated because we have no recourse or leverage against the builder and we keep getting strung along, but the realtor totally missed that point and continued to attack Jacob.  At one point, he said something along the lines of "We aren't asking them to rush it.  We want a quality house, this is our house and we want it to be good.  We're just so frustrated because right now we're homeless and all we can do is wait and hope that it's done soon."  She made some snidey, sarcastic remark like "Oh, you want your money back?"  LISTEN, HUSSY, YOU BETTER WATCH THAT TONE BECAUSE YOU WORK FOR US.  Then he asked when the new completion date was, to which she replied that she couldn't give us a date.  She was very frustrated and felt it was unfair for us to even ask for one, and just kept insisting that she wouldn't give one.  Here's what I want to know.  How do they normally plan a house closing?  How are we supposed to line up our financing and schedule movers if we don't have any idea when the house is going to be completed?  Also, if we're 9 days away from what was supposed to be the closing date, and you know you CAN'T make that, you should have a pretty good idea of what still needs to get done and how much longer it will take.  Right?  Long story short, we're basically on worse terms with our realtor than we were before, which is saying something.  I'm not even that frustrated at this point about the house not being ready on time.  I get that construction in the town is super crazy right now and it's hard to get contractors.  Honestly, I understand that, and I'm fine with that.  I wish they would have let us know sooner, since we had already started counting down the days, but I really do understand.  More than anything I'm EXTREMELY frustrated with our realtor.  You can't weasel your way into our contract so that you get paid and then CONSTANTLY complain about how busy you are and how many clients you have.  YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING FOR US.  HOW BUSY CAN YOU BE?!  I just don't have a single nice thing to say to her at this point, and if she ever talks to me like she talks to Jacob...it's going to get REAL ugly.  There will be yelling, name-calling, and inane insults.

Also, as most of you know, I am TERRIBLE at faking how I feel about someone.  If you annoy me, or I'm mad at  you, it's pretty obvious.  I'm pretty sure that if I see her and she says something that rubs me the wrong way, I'm gonna go all opposite George Costanza, and take her outside and show her what it's like.

I finally got the dress in the mail that I ordered for Jacob's office party.  Remember, the black lace strapless one that I got for a great deal?

Well I made a huge mistake when I ordered it because I completely forgot that I'm not built like a model.  When I tried the dress on yesterday, I could not believe how horribly unflattering it was.  The band at the waist hit me lower than on the model, so it cuts me off at a terrible point, and makes me look like I'm 10 weeks away from birthing triplets.  What's even worse is that the top makes me more flat chested than I could ever have imagined.  So much so, that I feel like you could put me in this dress, and I'm like Brandon Teena in Boys Don't Cry or even Terry Griffith in Just One of the Guys.  Basically, you put me in this dress, and I can land the role in any gender-bending movie.  I'm like Hilary Swank, minus the huge teeth.  Unfortunately, I still have to wear it to the office party because it's this weekend, and I don't have time to order anything else, and Herbergers doesn't have anything in the store that I like.  Looks like I'll be throwing a cardigan on over it.  Even sweet Jacob, when I asked what he thought, said "Well, I think it's a pretty dress."  I was like "See!  You didn't say that it looks good or I look pretty, you said the dress is pretty."

His response was "Well, but if you aren't happy with it or you don't like how it looks on you, it won't matter what I say.  You just won't like it."  Now, in theory, I agree with what he's saying.  HOWEVER, he still never said it looked good on me, so I'll just assume I got confirmation from Jacob that the dress makes me look like a big dumpy frumpster.

Jacob's office sent out an email asking people to buy Christmas presents for local kids in need, and we ended up picking an 8 year old girl.  Originally I picked her because I thought it would be easy.  She's young, and there are lots of great gifts for young girls (I thought).  In her information, she listed her sizes for tops, jeans, and shoes, and asked for "fun things."  When I got to the store today and started shopping for her, I was hit with the realization that I had no idea what to buy.  I had planned on buying Barbies, but then I couldn't remember what age I thought I was too cool to get those (if it was acceptable, I would totally still ask for them).  The only frame of reference I had was my sister's 6 year old stepdaughter, Reagan (she's 6, right Hil?), and I have never seen a Barbie in her room.  Reagan doesn't dress like a cutesy, Osk-Kosh kinda girl, either, so then I was like, if Reagan's six and is too cool for Barbies, what the heck will this girl like?!  I must have spent 45 minutes walking up and down the aisles at Walmart.  Ultimately I ended up getting her a jewelry thing, some shoes, and then a shirt and jeans from Herbergers.  While walking through the kids clothes at Herbergers, I stumbled across some extremely adorable baby clothes.  Let's just say my baby fever spiked, because I was SO tempted to buy some of this stuff.  But I knew if I bought clothes for a little girl, I would never have one, so I resisted the temptation.  But look how cute!

Who wants to have a baby girl so I can buy these for you?!?!  Also, I'm pretty sure I  need that turtleneck sweater dress in an adult size.