Monday, April 23, 2012


Let's talk about dreams for a little bit, okay?  For the past several months--at least since we've moved--I've been having extremely bizarre dreams that involve a guy named Jason who I went to middle and high school with.  The dream is never the same, in fact, it has been different every time, but about once a month, I'll have a vivid dream involving Jason.  Thankfully none of the dreams have been even remotely romantic in anyway, but it's still SUPER weird.  I'm not sure what triggered it or why it keeps happening, but it's been pretty much like clockwork that once a month he pops up in one of my dreams.  What's really strange is that my subconscious is so focused on Jason for really no apparent reason.  I never had a crush on him, we never dated, and we weren't really that close.  I considered him my friend, and he was a really nice guy, but we didn't hang out or anything.  I'm just not sure why my brain is clinging to him so much and continually involves him in my dreams.  Sometimes the dream revolves around him, and other times he's just hanging out with me in the dream.  It's for sure happened every month since we've lived here in NoDak, but I can't remember if I had the dreams when we were still living in Houston. 

Vivid dreams aren't unusual for me.  I dream every night and replay the dreams in my  head the next morning while I brush my teeth.  Some of the most notable dreams include me being shot and killed by Mister Rogers or the dream I had in 4th grade about the Menendez brothers going on a shooting spree in the Trinity parking lot.  They killed one of my classmates, J.P., but I hid behind some cars, so I stayed safe.  The last part of the dream that I remember is my (awesome) teacher, Mr. Goedecke, leading the brothers off in handcuffs, telling them they were going away for a long time. 

So ANYWAYS, back to Jason-I've forgotten most of the dreams I've had about him, except for the last couple.  Last month, I dreamed I was on a bus trip, headed to a basketball game, and for some reason Jason and I were in the aisle of the bus, doing squats.  I'm sure there was more to the dream than that, but it's all I remember.  Last week I had another dream, and I'm not quite sure this one counts towards my Jason tally.  So in the dream, I was having a VERY in-depth discussion with Jason's father (who I've never met in real life), about which Madonna movie was his favorite.  Let me make something very clear--though I never met Jason's dad, I did know Jason well enough to know that his dad would NOT be interested in Madonna's music/movies/life, so I'm not sure where my brain came up with that combo.  So back to the dream.  So Jason's dad and I were discussing his favorite Madonna movie, which he told me was Corrina, Corrina.  FYI, Corrina, Corrina is a movie about a widower who hires Whoopi Goldberg to take care of his daughter.  In no way does it involve Madonna.  So anyways, Jason's dad is telling me how this is his favorite Madonna movie because he finds it so moving.  He loves that the story is about a young Persian immigrant, like himself, who is able to make his way and become successful in America [see previous plot description].  He also remarks how much the movie impacted him because it featured his very favorite Madonna song, Flashdance (doubly inaccurate).  Though I was confused by the details, I was moved by Mr. Shayan's love for the movie, as he was crying the entire time he talked about it.  Weird, right?  I just don't get it.  So I've really been desperate for a resolution for this whole thing.  I would LOVE to see Jason again or talk to him and be like "oh by the way, my brain is kind of short-circuiting about you".  I'm sure it would really freak him out, but I don't care.  I want to know why I'm so fixated on him.  Unfortunately for me, Jason's like a ghost these days.  And by "like a ghost", I mean he's not on Facebook, so I have no idea how to catch up with him.  I know he still exists, because people have told me they've seen him out and about in Houston, but I don't know how I'd ever see him.  I was trying to come across pictures of him, and found this picture on another one of my friend's Facebook. 
Bear in mind, it's from 4th grade, but that's the best I could do.  Jason's the one with the tape on his forehead, making a peace sign that looks like he's picking his nose.  Weirdly enough, I'm standing next to him, sporting a terrible center hair part which I'm pretty sure I kept up until college.  Oh, and the guy totally stealing the picture by pretending like he's peeing--that's J.P., the one the Menendez brothers killed.  Poor J.P. 

While I was in Houston last week, I had a couple of scary dreams.  One is still really vivid and detailed, so I won't go into the whole thing, but it involved a plane crash.  I had just gotten back to Dickinson and had flown separately from Jacob for some reason.  I was standing outside, and I knew Jacob's plane was due to land anytime, and I looked up and saw three planes on a crash course.  One plane was massive, like the types that go overseas, one was a regular plane, and one was a super small plane like gets flown into Dickinson or Bismarck.  I watched, horrified, as all three planes crashed into each other, knowing that Jacob was probably on the little plane.  The crash was basically right over my head, I knew the wreckage would land just outside of town, but I couldn't even move to drive to follow it.  I just stood watching, paralyzed, as I saw only three people get ejected from the planes, screaming horrifically, but floating down via parachute.  I remember thinking that only those three people would survive and it was the most terrible moment ever.  There was more to the dream, but it's a lot fuzzier and there was no resolution when I woke up.  Only hours had passed over the span of the dream, so I had no way of knowing if Jacob was alive.  THANKFULLY, my sister sent me a text which woke me up from the nightmare.  Frantically I sent Jacob an email telling him that nothing could ever happen to him, lest I spiral completely out of control.  Because he doesn't care about my blood pressure, he never responded to that email..............I called him later and was like "didn't you get my email?!?!!? I had the scariest dream!!!!!!!"  His response: "oh yeah...what's the deal?'  I know you can't read that with the tone he used, but it was very uninterested.  Thanks for mustering the sympathy, bud.
The next night I had another weird dream.  I had a dream that I knew that my home builder was coming to kill me, so I asked a girl from down the street to come stay with me in our basement storage area and create these plastic shields to deflect bullets. 
After several hours with no shots, I went upstairs to see what was going on, and I realized that men were climbing up our deck and coming into our backdoor to use our bathroom.  I figured out that these were the men who'd been sent to kill me, but they told me that they weren't going to shoot me, but instead were instructed to beat and stab me to death.  I gathered all the men in my bedroom and was like "okay guys, honestly.  Would you really punch and stab a pregnant lady?"  I made them go person by person and say whether or not they would each do that.  Most said they wouldn't, but a few admitted they didn't care.  Then I made them go person to person and agree that they wouldn't hurt me or try to kill me.  Again, most agreed, but some didn't, but I told them that majority rules, so they were all like "well, guess we have no choice but to leave."  So it worked out, I guess.  Still kinda scary, though.

So that's about where I stand currently on my dream situation.  If any of you know a good therapist or have a hobby of analyzing dreams, please let me know.  OR if any of you are distantly related to Sigmund Freud, I'd really appreciate some insight.  Seriously, I think my brain needs to be reformatted because these regular dreams about Jason and/or death are getting WEIRD.

No comments:

Post a Comment