Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Updates and Jersey Goes to Napa

This week so far is looking a little dull.  Jacob is out of town for training in Denver, so the boys and I are home alone.  I'm just ready for him to be back.  I like having the tv all to myself when he travels, but I just miss him a lot when he's gone.  So far I've been keeping myself somewhat occupied with crafts.  I'm FINALLY working on the paintings for little ladybug's room, but I haven't made it very far.  I was actually thinking I might get really ambitious and try to surprise Jacob when he came home from Denver by having the nursery painted, but I don't think that's going to happen.  I'd like to put beadboard up
and that's not really a project I can tackle myself.  Plus, if we do the beadboard, only half of the wall would need to be painted, so it's not really worth me painting the whole nursery if it's just going to get covered up with paneling.  So...I guess that project will have to wait for a weekend when Jacob and I can do it together.  Actually the picture I found there is a lot like what I'm hoping for since I'd like to paint the room green.

I'm also hoping for a sewing day/night with my mom sometime this week (if I can ever find out where to buy Bernina replacement needles) so I can make the curtains for the nursery.  I always tell myself I'm going to be so productive when Jacob goes out of town so I can really impress him when he gets back, but normally the only thing I accomplish is basically emptying my DVR.

Let me clear up something that might be a misunderstanding.  I saw that someone found my blog by googling "got my first period at Schlitterbahn".  Let's be clear about something.  I didn't get my first period at Schlitterbahn--I got it during rehearsal for the Spring Musical in 6th grade.  Nothing's more of a downer when you feel like you're a hot shot in an Americana skit like feeling like you've fallen into "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret."  So yeah....that was awful.  And come to think of it, I was also wearing borrowed shoes from my friend Nina at the time, which doesn't have anything to do with my period, but does freak me out.  That seems very unlike me to borrow someone's shoes, especially wearing them without socks.  Blech.  So if someone out there got HER first period at Schlitterbahn...yikes.  Condolences.  I've only been there once in my life, and naturally I got my period when I was there.  I think that was my first summer of dating Jacob and I went with his whole family, and wound up with crazy cramps and bloating.  (Unfortunately for them, this wouldn't be the worst period experience we shared as a group)  My apologies to you, dear friend.  I can't imagine dealing with that first period when you're in a bathing suit.  I had a blue sequined skirt to hide behind. 

Well I guess that's all the really pressing things happening in my life right now.  I'm hoping to get some pictures of the house in the next few days to show you guys.  We officially have ZERO boxes left in the house, which is pretty awesome.  I'm ready to get some pictures hung so it starts to feel even more like home.  So far, though, I'm really happy with the house. 

So let's get into the important things, okay.  Real Housewives of New Jersey.  I still am missing a few episodes, but I was able to watch the new episode this Sunday when they go RV-ing in Napa.  It wasn't a super drama-filled episode, but there were some highlights for us to discuss:

Watching everyone pack in the beginning just made me roll my eyes.  HOWEVER, when Melissa is trying to pack for camping and says it could be "Camp Beverly Hills", my head nearly exploded.  Was that a Troop Beverly Hills reference from Melissa?!?!?!   Because if so, she just earned 25 million cool points in my book.  For those of you who don't know, Troop Beverly Hills is Shelley Long's greatest career accomplishment (except maybe the Brady Bunch Movie).  It's a movie that parodies Girl Scout troops and it's AMAZING. 
I swear, when my daughter is old enough, she'll be getting this on dvd for her birthday.  And if she's anything like me, she'll have all the lines memorized by age 12.  I currently still remember them.  I like to think of it as an exercise in preventing Alzheimer's. 

This whole scene with Albie and Chris and Greg asking Albie's girlfriend to move in with them is so uncomfortable.  The good news is that if (when) they breakup, they'll always have that special awkward moment to look back on and be like "yeahhhhh that should've been a sign we weren't meant to be together."  She doesn't look that excited about the whole thing, but how's she going to say no?  The whole thing just totally weirded me out.  Also, her eyebrows are a bit severe to me.  Just my two cents.

I could go either way on Chris and Albie's roommate, Greg, but I'll tell you who I LOVE--his dog, Deloris.  You guys, I read that his dog is named after Whoopi Goldberg's character, Deloris Van Cartier (aka Sister Mary Clarence) from Sister Act.  I CAN'T EMPHASIZE HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS.  You know, people want to hate on the gays, but this?  This is genius.  Greg just earned A LOT of respect from me.  More than I might be able to quantify.

As I was watching the episode, I was wondering why Greg was tagging along on this family adventure with the Manzos, but now that I love him so much because of his dog, I don't blame them for bringing him.  I'd never want to let a mind like that away from me, either. 

Had I known that this whole group had been diverted to Houston because of Hurricane Irene, I would've planted myself at IAH and refused to move until I met them.  Sure, security might think I'm a terrorist for my crazy behavior, but what they SHOULD be concerned about is Teresa's hairline. 
That's much more of a threat to our nation's security, in my opinion.

I can't tell you how crazy I'm going watching them doing all this shopping at Camping World.  What do they plan on doing with all this stuff they're buying five days from now when they don't need it?  You're not going to be able to carry all that stuff on the plane!!  The more crap they put in their carts, the more angry I get.  THIS IS SUCH A WASTE OF MONEY.  There are MULTIPLE couples here in financial difficulty.  Yet, here they are, spending $5000 on camping gear they'll probably throw away later in the week.  They have like 12 carts worth of stuff they're buying.  I think that's a bit much, right?!?!

When they pull into the RV park, Teresa is freaking out about it being a "parking lot".  I hope the camera catches the look on her face when she finds out what the dump station is for....

Melissa and Teresa grabbing each other's boobs is...so weird.  It'd be strange if they were really close.  It's stranger knowing they sometimes hates each other.  I love my sister-in-laws, I really do.  But if any of them ever grabbed my boobs...God help them.

I'm going to bring this up once, and then I don't ever want to discuss it again because it makes me so queasy.  Listening to Rich and Kathy talk about their sex life is bad enough, but having to see his blurred out erection makes me want to barf.  I seem to recall Rich telling his kids not to invite their friends over for a pool party because Teresa was going to be there and he didn't want his kids to get embarrassed in front of their friends.  But seeing their dad walking around with a boner on national tv, that's not embarrassing, right?!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!  Ugh, that is so nasty.  I am so humiliated for their children.

Poor Kathy is bragging to Jacqueline and Caroline about having a conversation with Teresa and how it went well.  She obviously doesn't realize Teresa was looking to start a fight over the whole "my mother's recipes" comment.  That whole thing is just one more example of how Teresa can get mad at people but they're never allowed to hold her to the same standards.  She's mad at Kathy for saying some recipes were actually her mom's, which Teresa thinks is a dig.
 But when she went to Kathy's dessert tasting, she made a tacky comment:
To me, that seems pretty passive aggressive and hypocritical, but I'm sure if they bring it up at the reunion, she'll just pull her normal "It was a joke!  Funny!  Ha-ha!"  Every time she says that defending something she's done, I want to claw at her face.

This whole recipe thing is such a stupid argument, anyways.  I'm not sure why she thinks that because her mom made something, her mom copyrighted the recipe.  Either way, YOU didn't come up with it.  So what difference does it make when you're going to put it in your book and profit from it either way? 

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