RHoNJ: The Gorgas do Therapy

Well there's nothing exciting in my life to report, currently.  Things are hectic but certainly not exciting.  Today I spent the entire day calling utility and insurance companies for rate quotes.  So...yeah, things could be more fun in these parts.  Tuesday night, Jacob went out with some friends to enjoy the freedom of having a weeknight to hang out since the next day was July 4th.

Unfortunately for me, they decided to go to an outdoor bar, so I couldn't go due to the almost certain guarantee that there would be smoking.  What I did instead was eat Whataburger and sit around watching tv for several  hours.  If that isn't American, what is?  The good news for you is that while I was sitting around with the apartment to myself, I got to watch the most recent episode of Jersey.  Shall we?

Let me say that I basically ignore any scene where Teresa and Joe are having a conversation.  It's just not worth the time and effort to try to figure out what they're talking about and how they can convince themselves they're right.

 

I found their "how did Jacqueline get the idea we're building an apartment?!" conversation mind-numbing.  I saw the building they were discussing, and to me it looked much more like a small house than a garage.  But you know me, I'll always side with Jacqueline.  At some point Rosie shows up to have a talk with Teresa.  Again, I didn't pay attention that well because Teresa contradicts herself too much for me.  My ears did perk up when Teresa made the comment that Kathy never really accepted Rosie when they were younger because she hated that Rosie is gay.  I am VERY anxious to see how that plays out at the reunion at the end of this season.  I can't imagine Kathy being mean or not liking anyone, let alone her sister, so I'm pretty sure that gay or not, she's always been good to her sister.  So..yeah.  That part about treating her sister badly was probably not true.

Later, Kathy and Rosie are discussing Rosie's love life and Kathy is trying to encourage her to go out and meet someone.  She offers to go with her to a gay bar, saying that she's never been to one before.  WHAT?  How is that possible?  She's like 40 and her sister is a lesbian.  I'VE been to a gay bar.  In College Station, TX....So I'm not sure how Kathy's never been before.

Word from wherever Ashley is being held is that she got a skull tattoo on her hand to remind her of her favorite bar she likes to go to.  Hang on a minute while I LOL FOREVER.  Seriously, you guys.  This girl gets dumber every second and I LOVE IT.  Also, I love that she's trying to convince people she's really tough and hangs out at a bar with skulls.  Honey, nobody's watching Sons of Anarchy and thinking "yeah, I bet Ashley from RHoNJ goes to those kinds of bars."  I don't see that clown strollin into a biker bar with those ridiculous lip injections.  NOT GONNA HAPPEN, PRINCESS.

I have to say, I can't tell what's happening at this family dinner of Rosie and Kathy.  I'm so distracted by their mom, who looks like the Italian version of Sophia from Golden Girls,

 that I can't figure out what's happening in this story she's telling about her childhood.  Why did her mom give her to her aunt???  And why does that mean she didn't love or feel any connection with her biological siblings?  I understand they didn't grow up in the same home and she didn't realize they were her siblings until she was much older, but she would have spent time with them and she would've grown up thinking they were her cousins, so....unless she's some sort of dissociative sociopath, shouldn't she have some sort of feelings for them??
 
One thing that's really great about Teresa is how she makes no sense.  While getting dressed and ready for therapy, she's talking to her daughters, saying "I'm going to lunch with Uncle Joe!  I'm trying to keep the family together."  But then in her interview, she's like "I don't want to tell my girls I'm going to therapy because I'm embarrassed and they're too young to be involved."  Well if they're too young to be involved, and you don't want it to be an issue, why make the comment that you're trying to keep the family together?  All that's doing is reinforcing that there are issues, so you're getting them involved; regardless of where they think you're going, they know that things are bad and they'll ask questions.  Or wait...are they not allowed to ask personal questions either?  That's probably a betrayal in Teresa's book.

I missed the caption of who this is having a talk with Jacqueline at her house, but I'll assume it's her dad.  Her dad looks a lot like Abe Vigoda, right?!

Anyways, they discuss the situation between Jacqueline and Teresa, and he says that it's a one-sided friendship because Teresa never asks Jacqueline about things that are going on in her life, like what's happening with Ashley.  I get what he's saying, I really do.  But I have to say, I'm like that, too.  I don't like to ask my friends/family about things in their lives that I know are stressing them out.  If they bring it up and want to talk about it or vent, I'll talk all they want, but otherwise I don't want to bother them about it because I HATE constantly being asked about things that are bothering me.  If I bring it up, I want to vent about it.  If I don't, don't ask because I'm supposed to be keeping my blood pressure down.  So in this case, I really don't think that's what makes Teresa a bad friend.  She may just not like bringing up things she think will stress her friends out.

When Joe Gorga and Teresa meet up at the therapists office and Joe (HER BROTHER) says to her, "you're wearing red.  Red's a sexy color."  GROSS.  That is so weird and disgusting.  Good thing they're already at the therapist's office.

You guys, I don't even know how to recap/breakdown this therapy session, but it is a JOKE.  And how they got the HR Mediator for 30 Rock, Jeffrey Wienerslav to be their therapist, I don't know.

I am so bummed I can't find the picture of Rosie's first communion, because that dress is INSANE.  She could've been going to her first gynecological exam in that dress.  The good news was that, despite several (okay maybe like 3) minutes of googling for the first communion dress, I was able to find a runner-up:

 I can't watch this adventure in the gay bar.  It's making me too uncomfortable.

Back to Joe and Teresa at therapy--Teresa's insistence to share the RV with her brother to prove the doctor wrong about them fighting is incredible.  "Oh you went to school to help people with their problems?  I think it's pretty obvious I know what to do here and am more qualified to make good decisions. Also, I'm pretty level-headed when I'm upset, so it's no biggie."

"I got this."

The article about Teresa and Joe's parent's house is crazy.  "Who knows who put that story out there?"  And then she tries to imply it's Jacqueline.  DON'T BLAME THIS ON JACQUELINE.  Thank you, Joe for calling Teresa out for saying that if she had the money, she'd buy her parents a house (but since she doesn't, Joe should be doing it) while wearing Christian Louboutins and carrying a Louis Vuitton purse.  Isn't it obvious from that conversation that she leaked the article if she's basically repeating everything it says as soon as she's off camera and thinks they can't hear her?  Teresa, you're not going to outsmart the camera guys and production crew.  You're not going to outsmart anyone.  Not even Milania.  So...yeah, I think she pretty much outed herself as the source for that article.