Dear Dana AND Tracy

It's come to my attention that the blog still has two dedicated readers (EDIT: THREE!! HEY BOOGIE!!).  Thanks guys.  Honestly, I'd be writing more often if I wasn't so cranky all the time.  And I figure you don't want to hear my ongoing real estate saga, which is KIND OF the only thing I can focus on these days, so I just kind of don't say anything.  But the good news for you is that I just went running and now my belly is full of Fuzzy's Pizza and caffiene-free Coke, so this is the best mood you'll find me in for awhile.  Figured I should do a quick post while the endorphins are still kicked in.

The last two days I've had to run some errands (shop for maternity clothes), so I ventured to Meyerland Plaza, where I could go to Motherhood Maternity, Ross, Marshalls, Old Navy AND Target.  It's basically Xanadu.  What's silly of me is that I keep forgetting that is the Bellaire area.  Translation:  everyone there is a gigantic douche.  It's just shocking to me what a little bit (or a ton) of money does to someone's brain.  I can't even count the number of people who just cut me off, walked right in front of me, nearly hit me with their cart, or even almost hit me with their car while I was crossing the parking lot because they wouldn't wait for me.  I've gotten to be kind of obnoxiously sarcastic about it, especially after two trips to HEB, surrounded by old, white rich women.  It's like everyone there is Lucielle Bluth, and I'm the housekeeper. 

 So.Much.Judgment.  What I've decided to do is that anytime someone cuts me off or just stops right where I need to be and ignores me while I say excuse me so I have to lean all the way over them, I just start apologizing profusly. 

Just yesterday at HEB, this lady cut me off like three times turning down the aisles, then stopped in front of the pasta while I was trying to reach what I needed.  After two "excuse me's" and no budging, I leaned in front of her as close as I could and was like "Oh goodness, look at me, I'm in your way!  I'm SO SORRY about that.  That must be frustrating."  She just furrowed her brow and pushed her cart forward.  It's probably too late to teach people manners, but I'm doing my darndest.  If they're gonna be jerks, I'm at least going to make them feel uncomfortable.

Jacob's been going to Memorial Park 3-4 times a week to run while we're living close to it.  I've been going with him and alternating running and walking.  It's pretty funny the looks you get when you're running at 6 months pregnant.  My favorite thing to do while I'm running is to watch all the guys I pass check out other girls running.  Sometimes I like to count how many guys may be sexual predators.  I normally give up at "a lot".  Running has actually helped alleviate my stress lately, but unfortunately once I stop, it feels like my pelvis is broken.  Oh pregnancy.

I would say when it comes to my love/respect for animals, I'm basically like 70% Buddhist.  Even "gross" animals like snakes, mice, rats, etc, don't necessarily bother me.  Do I want them in my home?  No, of course not.  And if the snake is poisonous and I see it, I will kill it because I don't want it to hurt my dogs.  But like spiders, I kinda feel bad killing them sometimes because they're so harmless and it's not like they gross me out.  I don't know, I guess I just feel really really sympathetic for animals and I worry about their well-being much more than I should.  This is not the case with cockroaches.  I take great pleasure in the killing roaches, and watching them die a slow painful death by poison.  My only regret with killing roaches with Raid is that they can't go back to their families to poison them as well.  This morning, at 3:59, I woke up REALLY needing to pee.  I walked into the bathroom and saw a small roach dead in our shower.  I have no idea how that happened since both Jacob and I had showered before bed, but there it was.  I tried not to let it bother me while I went to the bathroom and was just thankful it was a small roach and it was dead.  I turned to grab some toilet paper and spotted a giant LIVE roach, crawling across our bathroom counter, right next to my toothbrush.  Here's where panic set it.  Long story short, I sprayed the crap out of my can of Raid and smiled as it died.  Unfortunately for me, though, I sprayed Raid all over everything on our bathroom counter, including both of our toothbrushes, my retainer case, and my face wash.  Casualties of war, I guess.  Anyways, I had a hard time falling back asleep after that because I was convinced a roach was going to fly onto my face while I slept.  I am so ready to move into our house, where we can pay a pest control company to keep those things out of my personal space. 

Tonight I was able to catch just a few minutes of Dance Moms while Jacob ran out to get the pizza we ordered.  I can't even tell you how much it hurts that I have no clue what's going on in the show right now.  I'm so behind!  It's totally Lifetime's fault, though, because they never replay the episodes during the day, when I'm free to watch and take notes without hearing Jacob's tacky comments, or dealing with him talking through the show.

Last night I was able to catch most of the new episode of RHoNJ.  YOU GUYS.  It brings me physical pain how far behind I am.  I would have blogged about the episode, but since I haven't seen the last several, I had no clue what was going on. My plan is to watch the last two episodes so I can figure out what the heck is going on between Teresa and Jacqueline (TEAM JACQUELINE FOREVER), and do one mega-blog about the whole thing.  In the meantime...
Dear Bravo Executive Andy Cohen:  if you are reading this, PLEASE rerun the last 4 episodes during the day one weekday.  Otherwise I will never get caught up and I will have to constantly deflect the "have you seen Jersey yet?!!?!?!" question.  Please don't make me do this any more, Andy Cohen.  I don't like it and I don't want my life to continue this way.

Sincerely, a distressed and left-out fan

I have a recipe for you to try.  I made this for the first time last night for dinner, and it was actually pretty good.  Despite the feta and half and half I put in there, I told myself that it was super healthy, because of all the veggies.  Aimee, if Roland is still on his vegetarian kick, you could totally make this without the chicken and use mushrooms and multiple peppers and all kinds of stuff.  Anyways, it's called Confetti Chicken Pasta, and I recommend it.  Go here for the recipe.