Saturday, February 23, 2013

Potential Oscar Gowns--UPDATED

Because I use my time wisely, I've spent several hours this week combing through designers' collections to find gowns I really want to see tomorrow.  I did this last year, and what I came to realize is that all the stylists in Hollywood are a bunch of loonies.  I mean, I don't want to tell anyone how to do their jobs, but there were LOTS of amazing gowns I picked out last year that didn't get worn.  Clearly Rachel Zoe and I have different taste.

So here's what I'm thinking.  Since I know the gowns I'M crazy about won't get worn, I'm going to do a list of the top ten I think will get worn tomorrow, and then another list of ten that I'm desperate to see.  {EDIT:  I couldn't get my list down to just ten}  Basically the second list is just all dresses I'd like to have mailed to me.  If you're reading this, Elie Saab, Carolina Herrera or Naeem Khan, please send me a message and I'll gladly message you back with my address.

Alright, let's get to it.

Top 15 Possible Gowns--with 1 bonus!

Badgley Mischka.  Because you know Hollywood loves a shoulder pad.
Elie Saab.  I'm so crazy about this dress, I can't even tell you.
Elie Saab.  I originally loved this for Viola Davis, but as Dana pointed out, it's pretty much made for Julianne Moore.  Good call, Dana.
Carolina Herrera.  I want Renee Zellweger to show up in this and be like "Oh hey, Bradley Cooper.  I didn't even see you standing there."  Get it?  Because she's so squinty.
Monique Lhuillier.  You can't hear me, but I'm chanting "Jessica Chastain" over and over.  And that's not really a name conducive to chanting.
  Jenny Packham.  Yeah, I guess it's kinda boring.
Jason Wu.  Someone will wear this with red lipstick and loose waves and Guiliana will spend 30 minutes talking about how they're so beautiful with their old Hollywood glamor.
J. Mendel.  Someone HAS to wear this, right?!?!?!
L'Wren Scott.  Nicole Kidman should wear this.  Then the light can reflect off her dress AND her frozen face.
Christian Dior.  I'm pretty sure Jennifer Lawrence is contractually obligated to wear something like this.
 Marchesa.  Because we all know there will be some Marchesa. 
Oscar de la Renta.  This may have already been worn to something?  I don't know, it feels familiar.
Zac Posen.  Someone HAS to wear this, but holy cow I am so scared of Coco Rocha. 
Alexander McQueen.  I have to see this dress.  And if it's gotta be on Anne Hathaway, then so be it.
Alexander McQueen.  What if Tilda Swinton showed up and was like "So I heard they're looking for a new Pope..."
BONUS:  Versace.  Because there's a tacky one in every bunch.

Top 10 13 I'm DYING to See

Atelier Versace.  Because sometimes I like tacky things too.  Mostly I just love the color.
Reem Acra.  Maybe it's the lack of sleep, but I feel like this could really look good on somebody tall and skinny, like Stacy Kiebler.
 Monique Lhullier.  It'd be tough to pull off, but I'd love to see someone try.
 Badgley Mischka.  I love this dress, but I have a hard time focusing on anything other than the model's dark armpits.
Jason Wu.  Two words: Naomi Watts
Naeem Khan.  The more I look at this, the more I love it.
Jenny Packham
Naeem Khan
 Reem Acra.  Dana, if I was a really rich person, I'd buy this for you
Monique Lhuillier.  No one wore this last year and I nearly went bananas.
Carolina Herrera.  I ADORE this dress.
Armani Prive.  If I had a chance to wear this dress, but only if I wore the face cage, I'd totally do it.
Carolina Herrera.  I have a confession to make, and I'll only say this once.  I love big, bold print.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Crazy Girl

My baby over dramatic? Well I do declare....

Four Month Update

Well this may be pretty quick, since my baby typically takes the shortest naps when I'm trying to get something done.  Overall, things have been sort of calming down here.  We're starting to get more into a rhythm (which most definitely means we will have a terrible night tonight) and I feel like I'm slowly becoming a real person again.

Olivia is 4 months old now.  She's 16 1/2 pounds, which puts her in the 97 percentile for weight.  She's also in the 95th percentile for her height.  Unfortunately, my little pin head is in the 1 percentile for her head....
So here's what we're dealing with these days:

Up until last week, Olivia had been eating every three hours during the day, and she was being really inconsistent about her sleeping at night.  Some nights she would easily sleep from 10 pm until 8:30 am.  Other nights she was waking up sometime between 1 and 4 am.  It was getting to be pretty frustrating, and I knew she wasn't doing it because she was hungry because she really wasn't that interested in eating during the day.  We decided to experiment with trying to stretch her feedings out to 4 hours.  It's made a huge difference.  She's eating much better now at each feeding, and she's slept through the night ever since (JINX).  One thing that she's started doing since we've stretched the feedings out is communicating her frustration at not being fed right away.  She acts like she's STARVING, which I promise you, she is not.  As soon as it gets close to the four hour mark, she becomes a piranha and comes at me with her mouth wide open.  She starts sucking on or biting anything nearby.  Her hands, my face, my collarbone, whatever.  So if anyone has noticed all the hickeys I have now, it's not because my romantic life has picked up any.  It's because my daughter is impatient.

One downside to stretching Olivia's feedings out is that my body is still trying to adjust.  At the end of those 4 hours, I look like someone straight out of the plastic surgeon's office with some new, hard breast implants that haven't settled yet.  It's kind of a nice change of pace from my normal body until Olivia kicks me hard in the chest while I'm changing her diaper.  Then I feel like dying.  

At the suggestion of Olivia's doctor, I've started giving her rice cereal once a day, during her dinner feeding.  The first day, she thought it was great fun and a hilarious experiment.  She has since soured on the idea.  I'm really hoping her interest in it will return because I've started to dread dinner time.  It's really exhausting spoon feeding a baby who's angry and trying to kick the spoon out of your hand.

I know it's unlikely because it's so early, but I'm convinced Olivia has to be teething.  She is constantly drooling and chewing on anything she can.  Sometimes when she's especially fussy, I'll just rub her gums with my finger and she quiets down.  Her whole body goes limp with relaxation, just like I do when I'm getting my back scratched.  Jacob, if you're reading this, I WANT A BACK SCRATCH.

My hair has finally started falling out, which SUCKS.  I knew it was going to happen, and everyone warned me it would be gross and disturbing, but seriously, it's awful.  It's shocking, the amount of hair I brush out before and after every shower.  Between the hair loss and my acne (that I'm blaming on hormones but is more likely stress-related), I looked like I signed up to test an experimental drug.  Side effects: acne, hair loss, weight gain, crazy hormone swings.  Maybe I should get a weave or a Kim Zolciak-style wig.
In addition to losing my hair due to hormones, I have lost a considerable amount to my daughter's grubby little fingers.  She's really figured out how to grab onto things and pull, and the right side of my head has taken the brunt of that new skill.  She pulled my hair so hard the other day I expected to see brain matter attached to the clump of hair I pulled out of her fist.  I'm not even SLIGHTLY tender-headed and she's made me cry like six times.  I'm ready for this phase to be over.  Also, if you're ever around my daughter and choose to hold her, PLEASE don't wear earrings.  Twice now I've seen her grab onto someone's earrings and I was positive she was going to rip them clean through their earlobes.  I'm telling you now, if I see this happen, I will barf.

Okay I'm off to check on sleeping beauty.  But I have BIG PLANS to do a Pre-Oscar fashion post in the next couple of days.  THERE ARE GOWNS WE NEED TO SEE. 

Wednesday, February 6, 2013


Photo Booth is like a million times funnier with a baby.