Monday, April 8, 2013

I Like Turtles

Lately Olivia has not been taking good naps.  It's frustrating, but now that the weather is warming up (and I'm medicated), I use the time she should be napping to take her for long walks.  It's actually been really relaxing, because it gives me a chance to walk through the neighborhood and check out other home's landscaping, giving me ideas for our yard.  More importantly, it gives me the chance to take a long, slow walk around the pond and look for turtles.  I cannot stress enough how much I love turtles.
It's actually like, a weird amount, how much I like turtles.  So anyway, when Olivia woke up after a 25 minute nap on Thursday, I figured we might as well take a leisurely stroll around the pond to check out the turtles.  Since she had been down for such a short period of time, I had only enough time to wash my face, brush my teeth and get dressed.  I wasn't quite sure what the temperature was outside, but it was really cool in the house, and since I have very poor circulation (thank you, Mother) I had on my warmest wool socks and some velour sweatpants.   When I went to get Olivia out of her crib, she was so excited that I was rescuing her from her dreaded naptime that she did her default excited move.  That is, she came at me with both hands, grabbing my hair with all her might, ripping some roots from my head and completely eviscerating my ponytail.   Even though it was probably only 11 am at this point, I had already redone my ponytail at least 10 times thanks to her grubby little grabby hands, so I figured I would just leave it.  After I strapped her in the stroller, I grabbed a couple of graham crackers to snack on and we headed out.
We spent about an hour walking around the pond.  While she grabbed her toes and tried to pull her socks off, I excitedly yelled to every turtle I came across.  Here's the thing.  The pond is FULL of turtles.  It's not even a large pond, and the turtle population is kind of insane.  I don't claim to know much about ecology, but I feel like the turtle population has gotten a bit out of hand.  Not that I'm complaining.  ANYWAYS, what I'm saying is that it's not unusual to walk around the pond and see a lot of turtles.  In fact, today, while on a run with Oscar, I spotted SIXTY turtles sunning themselves.  It's pretty awesome.  So as I was walking Olivia around last Thursday, I wasn't surprised to see a ton of turtles, but was excited nevertheless.  So excited that I repeatedly (probably 10 times) got so wrapped up in watching them that I would forget I was pushing the stroller, hitting it with my toes and tripping.  I pretty much couldn't walk in a straight line because I was so jazzed about the turtles.
Unfortunately, my enthusiasm only hurt me, because every loud and excited utterance scared my precious turtles away, causing them to dive into the water away from me.  You'd think I would've learned my lesson, but it was a mistake I made for the entire walk; see turtle, scream in joy, look on dejectedly as the turtle swims for safety. 
The only thing that was killing my turtle buzz was the crazy amount of gnats around the pond.  I haven't gotten the mosquito netting I ordered for Olivia's stroller yet, so every time we'd walk through a swarm of gnats, I'd freak out, yelling and swatting them away with vigor.  It's bad enough when I feel like I'm walking through a big swarm of gnats, but the thought of them getting on Olivia when she can't swat them away freaks me out so much.  I just can't deal with the idea of them flying into her mouth.
Once we came home, I put Olivia in her exersaucer so I could go to the bathroom.  Sitting there, I noticed that at some point my pant leg had gotten stuck in my socks.  Huh, embarrassing, but oh well.  Then, as I was washing my hands, I noticed in the mirror that I had eaten my graham crackers with the grace of a 3 year old.  The front of my shirt was covered in crumbs.
So lemme paint the picture for you.  Here's what my neighbors saw of me--messy, disgusting hair, pulled halfway out of my ponytail.  One leg of my sweatpants tucked into my thick, brightly colored (and completely unnecessary) wool socks.  My sweatshirt covered in cracker crumbs.  Randomly flailing my arms wildly, screaming things like "STAY AWAY FROM MY BABY!"  And I'm so distracted by the presence of TURTLES BEING STILL that I'm tripping over myself, nearly impaling myself on the stroller handle and shrieking inane things like

I really must've looked like I was slow.  Like, I bet the people whose houses back up to the pond were watching me and PRAYING that there was just a Tickle Me Elmo doll or a cantaloupe in the stroller rather than a real baby.

So yeah.  I guess I'm really the crazy lady in the neighborhood. 
 My goal is to be a little more normal the next time I go for a walk.  I'm getting better, though I failed at that yesterday.  I had taken Olivia for a walk, and as we were getting close to home, I spotted this cat lying in the street.  I called to her and she started meowing and purring, which I took to mean she wanted to come home and live with me.  I tried to go pet her, but she got spooked and ran into some bushes.  I stood there for probably a minute, calling out "Oh Miss Kitty!  Come back and play with me!".  When that didn't work, I just started meowing as loud as I could.  Normally that works!  After a minute or two, I gave up and turned back to the stroller, only to see the lady who's house I had stopped in front of was in her driveway, watching the whole thing.  She seemed scared and concerned, so I said a very uncomfortable "oh.  hello." and was on my way.  I guess I just need to work harder at my goal

 Images Via RealityTvGifs

1 comment:

  1. Turtle races. I think we HAVE to go! No body ever wants to go with Daniel and I and we have yet to go still!