Nerd

Last night Jacob started putting together one of his Star Wars Legos sets that he got for Christmas. This morning, after church, Jacob finished the Millennium Falcon and felt pretty proud of himself. I tried to get him to pose for a picture with the finished product. He wouldn't because he said it was too nerdy, but then he said "you can take a picture of me flying it around the house!". I was happy to oblige. I also snuck in a picture of Jacob looking at the book of mini-figs, eyes wide with the possibilities. Seriously, Jacob's the best.

TV watching

Right now I'm watching the First 48 on A&E, which is totally a guilty pleasure for me. Yes, people died, but it's so interesting to see the process that the police go about to solve the crime. One thing I have learned in the 100+ hours I've invested into the series is that I will never go to Miami. I think 75% of the episodes are about murders in Miami. And they're all in the same section of Miami. People, it's probably time to move.
Also, I would like to know how cold they are keeping these interview rooms. No matter what city they are in, whenever they bring suspects in to be questioned, they always have their arms pulled tight into their shirts like 6 year old who get cold. One of my favorite things about watching is when they are interviewing suspects and they start talking and using a lot of street slang. Despite being able to hear what the suspects are saying and having captions, the narrator explains what is being said. It's basically like, "okay let me translate for all you white people out there.". Hey, just because I'm white doesn't mean I'm not street smart!.....but that's fine if you want to reiterate what the suspect is saying.

Today I got recruited by my boss to play on her city league volleyball team. I was a little nervous to say yes since she seems pretty athletic and I know she played in college, but then she said they've lost every game this season and they went to the bar to get drinks before the game. Oh, alright. I think we'll be just fine then.

Jacob will be gone this weekend and I have a free redbox rental I plan on taking advantage of while getting in a good snuggle with Oscar. Anyone seen anything good recently? I need some suggestions. So far I'm thinking Drive, The Ides of March, Crazy Stupid Love (I swear I don't have a thing for Ryan gosling), or Super 8. Any thoughts? Dana you saw Super 8, right? Any good?

Now that the First 48 is over, I have stumbled on to an old friend, the Game Show Network. Jacob used to give me a hard time when I would watch Lingo, but in hindsight those were the glory days because they had a respectable host--Chuck Woolery. Now it's hosted by Bill Engvall and considerably flashier, but still a solid game at its core. As much as Jacob tries to make fun of me when I watch it, he will play right along with the contestants and only get up during commercial breaks. It's not just letters, it's Lingo!

Boring Day at Work

Today was sooooo slow today at work. At about 9:18, I realized I had blown through my work for the day and needed to somehow keep myself busy until noon. At one point I killed three whole minutes unwrapping a Jolly Rancher, which I feel is pretty good. I dare you to beat it. At one point I had spent about fifteen minutes eating a clementine, and when I finished, I got up to wash my hands and was walking back to my desk to throw the orange peel away. Someone walked in to my office and for some reason I completely panicked. I sprinted to my desk and tried to sweep the orange peels off my desk and sat down really quickly. Unfortunately the peels didn't make it to the trash can and I was sitting on them. I'm sure the person had to notice and they were wondering what form of autism I have, but I just played it cool and sat on those orange peels until she left. On the plus side I was able to spend 15 minutes after she left cleaning my pants off, so that was a good time waster.

Tonight I went to boot camp again and it was brutal (I would italicize that if the iPad let me). We spent the first 30 minutes doing lunges with the body bars and then had to run stairs for 15 minutes. The small tears in my muscles must have spread to my brain because after the class I thought I would still try to get my 2.5 mile run in. As soon as I started running I knew I wouldn't be able to finish and I should just get as far as I could. I can't even describe how weird my legs felt. It wasn't that they were jello yet, but it almost felt like I had been in leg casts for the past thee years and I was learning to walk again. I had to use my upper body to get the momentum for each step so I'm pretty sure my shoulders and arms were all over the place. I did only a mile before deciding that I really should stop because my legs felt like they were buckling. Ever seen those videos of people during ironmans where the fatigue overcomes them and they start to fall all over themselves like they've gone boneless? Even though my workout can't even begin to compare to an ironman, that's what I felt like.

I have a confession to make and I'm actually quite embarrassed about it. I've realized that I actually want to see the new Reese Witherspoon movie, This Means War. As a rule, I do NOT like romantic comedies. I find them to be cheesy, predictable, and unfunny. However, the part where Tom Hardy is cackling laughing is just too charming for even me to ignore, so I'll have to see it. Not until it comes out on DVD, mind you, but I'll see it.

Today we finally got the right front door put on! Hooray! I'm so glad that ugly one with the flower is gone. Its kind of crazy that it took almost two months to change out a door, but whatever, I'm happy with the new one. It's plain, but its what I wanted.

Idiot Abroad

Today I spent my entire afternoon napping and video chatting so I have nothing good to say. Currently Jacob and I are watching An Idiot Abroad 2: The Bucket List. I can't tell you how happy I am to have Karl Pilkington back in my life. If you've never seen the show, you really need to watch it. It's on on Saturdays (I think) on the Science channel. Karl is seriously one of my favorite people on the planet. Every time I watch it, I realize how he is the British version of Tom. He's irritable, pessimistic, and doesn't like many people or things. In the episode we just watched, he went to Thailand and did blindfolded Thai boxing. I could watch an entire episode of that alone.

Seriously, if you ever find yourself in the mood to laugh at someone's misery, and you can't find any good Jerry Gergich clips from Parks and Rec, I highly recommend searching for Karl Pilkington.  (Warning--there's definitely some language in this video)

 Now it's 9:45 and I'm off to bed.  I can't even tell you how excited I am about that.  It doesn't even matter that I took a nap today because I just want to go lay down and make Jacob scratch my back.

Updates

This is just going to be a quick post since I'm still exhausted from not getting enough sleep this weekend or last night. Thanks for the prayers for my sister and Jacob's mom. My sister I think is still in the hospital--I didn't get to talk to anyone in my family who would know anything today so I'm not sure what the latest is on her. When I talked to her the other day she seemed like typical Angie--not complaining or talking about herself and willing to let me ramble on about my pretty insignificant life. She gets that from our mom.

This weekend, as some of you know, Jacob's mom was in the hospital with a cracked rib and collapsed lung. She slipped on some bleachers at Timothy's soccer game and took a really hard fall. Thankfully she's home now, and despite some shortness of breath and discomfort, I think she's feeling much better. Hopefully she can take it pretty easy so her body can actually heal and she won't have to cook or do chores. (hint: Emily that's your cue).

I realized today that Valentines day is coming fast and I need to get on the ball if I'm going to get Jacob's present. We aren't huge on valentines day, but I normally like to get him a little something every year and bake him some sort of delicious treat. I also ask for a gift card to a massage place every year but that's yet to happen... Anyways, this year I'm super pumped because I know exactly what I want to get Jacob. Unfortunately he'll be gone that whole week for training in Houston so I'll have to wait to give it to him, but that's probably best since I haven't even bought it yet so I'm fairly certain it will be late.

For the second time in less than a week I had a total brain fart and wasn't able to filter something that I thought before saying it to a total stranger. Friday night, around 10pm (after happy hour at Applebee's!) Jacob and I remembered we desperately needed toilet paper, so we stopped at the local store on the way home and I ran in to buy the tp while Jacob waited in the car. Let me preface this by saying that I have always felt extremely awkward when I go to the store for JUST toilet paper. In my mind the cashier sees me buying just rolls of toilet paper and they think I ran out while pooping and am going straight home to finish my business. It's not logical, but it's the way my mind works. Anyways I always feel like I need to be very apologetic when buying it, like I'm offending the cashier with my crassness. So, since I like to be cost effective, I walk up to the register Friday night with nothing bit my 24 pack of double rolls and am trying to play it cool to my 16 year old cashier, Brian, who for sure thought I had the runs. I was totally quiet until he handed me my receipt and innocently said "have a good night" to which I responded with holding up the toilet paper, shrugging, and saying "we'll see". I really and truly have no idea why I said that to the poor guy and his look of discomfort and disgust didn't kick in until I was walking out the door, but once it did, I was almost crying laughing so hard. Poor Brian.
Tonight my lack of filter kicked in at the gym as I was following a young couple in. I got irritated when they stopped in front of the women's locker room, blocking the door for me to go in because they didn't want to stop holding hands. The girl started to go into the locker room, but the boyfriend stopped her, saying "no don't leave me!". Maybe it was because they were ignoring the fact that they were completely in my way that made me think I could say something, but without thinking I just said "wow. That's dysfunctional.". The good news is that they realized I was standing there so I was able to wriggle past them. The bad news is that they obviously hate me.

Superbowl Party

Here's why I'm (currently) crabby.  Friday, around 4:45, Jacob decided to send out an invite to a bunch of his coworkers to have them come over and watch the Super Bowl.  We had talked about doing it off and on for awhile, but ultimately, I thought we weren't going to do it because we still don't have furniture in the room with the projector.  As soon as Jacob sent the email, I knew everyone he invited would come because of the 12-15 people he invited, we are the only ones in a house, so no one else could have a bunch of people over.  Since everyone pretty much responded that night saying they were coming, I knew that our weekend would be packed with chores.  I was not wrong.

Yesterday we worked around the house for about 12 hours straight.  I can't even remember now what all we worked on, but I know I spent about 6 hours straight in the kitchen getting food ready for today.  I made salsa and a cheeseball and then had to make dinner for us.  After dinner, I immediately made chocolate chip cookies from scratch.  When all of that was finally done, I spent another 30 minutes just trying to get the kitchen clean enough to run the dishwasher.  When all that was done, all I wanted to do was lay down on the floor next to Oscar.  After about 27 seconds on the ground Jacob decided I need to get up and help him hang pictures around the house.  Despite me saying I was tired and not feeling well, we spent the next hour  deciding where our pictures and paintings would go.  I was given the crucial job of holding the shop-vac in the air while he drilled holes so I could catch the dust particles as they floated in the air, versus once they reach the ground, which OBVIOUSLY IS NO GOOD.  Once I finally told Jacob flat out I was done helping, he agreed he was tired enough to go to bed, so we laid down.  This morning I was woken up by the sound of the hammer.  I stayed in bed for a bit, hoping to fall back asleep, which didn't work since the hammer didn't stop.  Several minutes later, when the hammer stopped, Jacob came into our bedroom and said "Are you getting up soon?  I need your help to hang some of these pictures.  I didn't want to do it while you were sleeping."  WELL THAT'S A LIE SINCE I JUST HEARD YOU.  So I got up, and realized how eager Jacob really was to get to chores. I had only made it from the bed to the toilet and Jacob was like "can you come look at this picture and see if you like it?"  Well not right now since I'm going to the bathroom.  A minute later, as I was brushing my teeth, Jacob comes in, wanting to hang some pictures in our bathroom.  So here I am, brushing my teeth, while Jacob's asking me to hand him nails and his hammer and other tools.  Next, I'm washing my face, and as my hands are completely lathered with soap, and my eyes are clinched shut so I can't get any soap in, Jacob's asking me to look at the placement of the pictures to see if I like it.  CAN'T I HAVE A MOMENT'S PEACE?!?!?!  Once I finished my selfish hygienic routine, I had to come into the kitchen and wash some dishes and get the dishwasher started.  This is all BEFORE getting myself ready for church.  Once I finally got the dishes done and sat down to put my makeup on, Jacob goes "ummm...are you gonna be ready in 20 minutes?"  Listen guy, this is not a great start for you.  The day continued on in this vein and the minute we got back from church it was clean, cook, clean, cook, etc.  By the time people showed up, I was so exhausted I think I could have slept through the entire game.  I really tried to be a friendly, nice hostess, but I'm not sure it worked....

At least this year everyone was pretty well behaved.  No one spit out the food I made and called it disgusting like happened a couple years ago.  Forgive and Forget?  I'm not sure I know what that means....Anyways, everyone was nice, and I think most of them were just excited about free food and beer and a projector.  However....one of the guys Jacob invited got on my nerves pretty quickly.  He wasn't on the original email Jacob sent out, but since all of his friends were, Jacob knew he'd find out, and he didn't want to leave him out, so he sent him a text last night telling him about it.  He got an immediate text back saying "I'll be there.  I've got a pork loin sitting out now."  Umm--what?  UGH.  So sure enough, as people were trickling in today, I started getting out all the food, trying to find serving dishes and whatnot to have the food in, and in steps pork boy, with a bag of trailmix in one hand and about 10 potholders and a pork loin in the other.  He walks up to me (keep in mind we've only met once) and is giving me instructions on what to do, telling me to get the potholder to set the pork down.  I wanted to be like "Uh, cowboy this is my house and I'm a little busy trying to feed the people huddled around this island like feral animals, so why don't you ask someone else for help with your pork loin."  He asks me for a knife to cut the meat, and since I'm not a pork loin kinda girl, I didn't know what type, so I gave  him a couple of options, both of which he turned his nose up at.  I offered him another to which he said "ugh, I guess I can make it work."  If you can't, I'll make it work on your entrails, fella, so it's best if you take it from me right now.  I hand him the knife and try to get back to what I was doing, but then he needed me to get him a cutting board (he wasn't crazy about the one I gave him).  Overall, I'd say he barely made it out alive in those first five minutes.  Later in the night, he proceeded to come into the kitchen and pour an entire bottle of beer down the drain, telling me "I always want to like Fat Tire, but I just don't.  They're just not good."  SO WHY DID YOU GRAB ONE?!  There were like four different kinds of beer in the fridge, and he decided to waste one of the more expensive ones. 

Besides those irritations caused by one person, the night was fine, it was just so hard for me to enjoy it because I was so tired the whole time.  It was also a little awkward since it was like 10 guys and only 2 other girls came, so the guys were hogging the room downstairs with the projector, and the girls got stuck upstairs, and I think both the other girls wanted to be downstairs watching on the projector with their husbands but there wasn't enough room.  Oh well.....

Now, here it is, almost 10:30, and I'm still grumpy.  As I was cleaning up the kitchen, I said to Jacob "well I guess I'll go start the laundry......." hoping I'd guilt him into giving me a foot massage or SOMETHING because of all the crap I had to do this weekend, and now I have four hours of laundry still to do.  Instead, he responds with "Yeah.  I think I'm going to go to bed soon.  I'm pretty tired."

Also, here's the perfect end to the day.  I just went into the laundry room to put a new load into the washer, and somehow as I was bending and turning to put clothes in the dryer, my belt loop slipped entirely over the door handle (it's a lever, not a knob) and as I stood up and tried to move, the door handle pulled my jeans up and gave me the most massive and painful wedgie I've ever had in my entire life.  That's about right.  Well played, door handle.

Day Off

Today I didn't have to work, which was GLORIOUS.  I know my job is only part time, but I realized today the shackles I'm bound to with this 20 hour a week job. I am missing so much SNACKING and TELEVISION and SLEEPING and SAVED BY THE BELL RERUNS, it's basically criminal.  I didn't want today to end, it was so amazing and relaxing, but every time I would look at the clock and realize my day was slipping out of my reach, it would totally bum me out.  There was just not enough time in the day for me to watch all the Top Chef that I wanted to.

But I made the most of my day, watching lots of tv and doubling my daily caloric intake.  Amazing day.

For the third day in a row, the drywall guy came to fix some of the spots that were done wrong or chipped when we moved in.  He's an interesting guy.  I don't want to say he has tourettes, but I don't want to rule it out, either.  The very first day he came, he didn't do any work, we just walked from room to room, pointing out the things that needed to be fixed.  Every spot angered him more and he has the mouth of...well...a drywall-er.  He swears a lot, which doesn't surprise me, but what I do find to be surprising is that he has a habit of finishing every angry sentence with "anyways."  For example, he saw a huge blister that had to be fixed in our guest bedroom and he yelled "Son of a Beach, anyways!"  He would also yell out Jesus C (totally not even comfortable typing that all out) a lot and finish it with "anyways" which I find equally bizarre.  How does someone end up with such a strange speaking habit?  What if I started every angry sentence with "As it happens"?   "As it happens, I want to cut your face in half!"  Actually I find that syntax to be much more logical than his, so advantage: Hayley.
That first day he came over, as we were walking through the house, he was asking me lots of questions about us, one which was my name.  I answered honestly, as most would, and didn't think anything of it.  The next day (yesterday), when he was finishing up, he said "Okay Madonna, I'm all set here!"  Long pause...I figured surely he was on the phone or something because according to my speech patterns, Hayley and Madonna sound nothing alike.  Finally I said "Umm do you need me?"  He said "Yep, I'm outta here.  All done--see you tomorrow."  So he was calling me Madonna.  That's probably the most insulting thing I've ever been called....

Last night I went to another of Jacob's basketball games, not because i was bribed by a baby, but because I actually wanted to watch him play (and nothing good was on tv).  I always love the guys in small town city leagues who are convinced they're gangsters, even though they're 5'5, 140 lb white dudes.  You can wear those shorts as baggy as you want, but your name is still Richard and you're a bank teller. 

Anyway, this homie pimp-walked into the gym like he owned it, and I nearly laughed out loud at the twin tattoos he had on either side of his collarbone.  Somehow he was able to find a tattoo artist in North Dakota who could recreate Scarlett Johansson's tattoo!

Listen guy, if it's street cred you're looking for, you're not going to get it by tattooing Lisa Frank images onto your body.  Poor guy had a rough night.  He was about a foot shorter than everyone else, and the only shot he even got a chance at taking, Jacob blocked so hard it bounced of the guys forehead.  Ouch.  
For the month of February, since it's Heart Health month, the cardiac rehab department of the hospital is doing a contest for the employees.  You get a pedometer and a piece of paper to track the number of steps you take per day.  The goal is to reach 10,000 per day.  At the end of the month, after keeping track of all of your steps, you turn in your sheet and people that participate are eligible for a door prize.  I realize the door prize will be something lame and boring, but you have no idea how much I want to win it.  In all likelihood it will just be another pedometer, but I am determined to win that prize.  Even though it's only day 2 of the month, I've found myself trying to add on extra steps to boost my place in the competition.  Tonight, while Jacob was at the gym, I just walked in circles around our kitchen island, cackling to myself for my great, wicked plan.  Those losers don't know who they're messing with!  I WILL WIN THIS.  I'm not sure why I'm not this jazzed about The Biggest Loser competition we're doing at work, which has a $200 prize, but it's clear that the realist in me has given up the $200 in exchange for unlimited chips, cookies, and a brand new pedometer. 

So next week marks the beginning of my next training program.  Hunter, Jacob and I are seriously considering running a half marathon in Vancouver in May, so I have to start training NOW since the race is only 93 days away.  We haven't signed up, but we're all pretty pumped about the course and the chance to see Canada.  I'm a little nervous about doing all that running again, but I'm really hoping it will be easier this time around.  I'll let you know.......