Getting Pretty Dumb

Lately I've noticed that I'm becoming stupid.  Today especially I was having a really hard time with every single task I did at work.  After tripping on my own desk 4 times, I threw myself down in my chair in frustration, and somehow that messed up the lever, so over the course of a minute my chair sunk lower and lower, like the legs were being pulled into quicksand.  Because I'm an idiot now, I didn't even notice until my chin almost hit the desk.  I tried to fix it, but couldn't figure out how, so after twenty minutes of resting my chin on my desk, I swapped the chair out with my coworker's.  She's never even in the office, so she won't notice.  I got really frustrated/frazzled when I realized that my email containing the huge file I needed to send for my deadline yesterday never went through, so I had to frantically contact the printers to have them rush it through.  I needed to vent, so I sent an email to Jacob with the subject line "It's just not a good day", except halfway through my tirade of whining in the email, I realized the subject line said "it's just not a good".  That's about right.  Seriously, it's like all the Dance Moms and Real Housewives have caught up to me, because it feels like there must be a hole in my head where my brain cells are leaking out.  For example, last night I was watching the season finale of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and the scene after Paul gets his colonoscopy and keeps farting was easily the greatest moment of my life.  I think I watched it ten times and was crying and laughing so much I nearly "through the nose"ed my cranberry juice. 

See what I mean about my intellect?  It's just gone.  Also, who exchanges air kisses with their butt doctor?!  COME ON.  Anyway, I need to figure out what's clogging up my ability to think because as it is now, I'm exactly like Elaine in the episode of Seinfeld where she gets dumb and it SUCKS.

Tonight for dinner I tried to recreate a meal that Jacob really loves from a restaurant in town.  It's called Jambalaya Pasta, and the description probably won't sound great, but it's really good, so trust me on this.  Anyways, the way it's served in the restaurant is penne pasta, sausage, chicken, peppers and onions, all mixed together in barbecue sauce.  I know, I know, it sounds weird, but it's good.  Anyways, I made it tonight (with the help of Aimee) and I really like it.  I just cooked some chicken earlier today and cut it up into smallish chunks, then I cooked some sausage and also cut it up.  When I was ready to make dinner, I sauteed a green pepper (diced) and half an onion in a little bit of butter.  Then I added the sausage, chicken, and about half a small bottle of barbecue sauce (I like it saucy), and put it all on low while my pasta cooked in another pot.  When the penne finished, I drained it and put it into the barbecue mixture to toss it all together.  And that's it!  It's really good if you use a spicy bbq sauce, it just gives it a little kick.  If you like barbecue, it's definitely worth trying because it's a super easy dinner, and Jacob LOVED it. 

The only challenge to preparing dinner tonight was the injury I acquired while boiling my chicken.  I'm pretty lazy when it comes to meals that require pre-cooked chicken.  Unless it's chicken salad, I usually just boil the chicken in some water and chicken broth because it's so easy and takes zero effort.  Plus my dogs love the smell of boiling chicken water.  I honestly think that smell could bring Oscar out of a coma.  So anyway, my broth had just started boiling, and I was trying to add the raw chicken to the pot without splashing the boiling liquid back on my hands.  In an attempt to drop the chicken in quickly, I managed to splash a bunch of the boiling broth out of the pot, and some went directly into my eyeball.  I tell you, it's not the greatest feeling in the world.  It also leaves a foul odor in your eyelashes and will make your mascara run for the next twenty minutes.  Remember what I said earlier about getting dumb?  I meant it. 

Okay, I want some serious prayers for my sister, Angie, who is in the hospital right now because of blood clots.  Dana--if you could get your mom on this, that'd be great.  Angie's doing fine and they're gonna get it all sorted out soon, I just worry about her.  It's been almost ten years since her last blood clot and that was just such a scary experience for all of us, that we worry about her.  Like I said, she's doing fine, but I just want her to start feeling better and get this bed rest done with so she can start feeling normal again.  If you're reading this because you're bored on bedrest, Beetle, I love you and I'll call you soon!  Anyways, just keep her in your prayers, please.  

This is just a little plug now that I'm sort of working in the health care field.  Friday is national Wear Red Day to benefit the American Heart Association.  Heart disease is the number one killer of women, and kills more women than all cancers combined.  Crazy, huh?  If it's something that is personal to your family or friends, you can donate to the American Heart Association, or just plan a little red party with some friends or coworkers.  Otherwise, just show your support for the cause and wear something red on Friday.  A shirt, a sweater, or a red dress.  Me, I'll probably keep it pretty low key.  I was thinking something along the lines of this:

After all, it does have to be office appropriate, you know what I mean? 
Side note: how far has Holly Madison fallen that she's modeling clubwear for some random crappy clothing company/brothel? Yeah she's famous for being a slut, but she had a tv show at one point! Come on girl, pull yourself together. When she looks back on her decisions, who do you think she most regrets sleeping with, Criss Angel or Hugh Hefner?

Basketball Game

Tonight I had to go to Jacob's basketball game because one of his teammates needed someone to watch his baby while he played since his wife was busy. I was a little apprehensive only because I've never met the baby and I always feel a little bit uncomfortable holding babies I don't know. I could never be a baby snatcher. I'd always be like "how do you like to be held? What makes you fussy? DO YOU LIKE ME?!". So anyways, the nervousness was for nothing because little baby Johanna was so.sweet. Such an easy little baby who was just so happy to be held and watch her daddy run around. So I'd say if my baby fever was bad before, it just got dangerous. If baby fever could be converted into degrees Fahrenheit, I should probably be hospitalized. The game was pretty fun, despite Jacob's team having only me and Johanna for fans. The other team was a bizarre combo of like 4 college guys and 2 fifty plus year old men. One man looked exactly like Milton from Office Space. I did notice that a wife of one of the other team's players showed up in sweats and her MukLuks, which made me feel incredible about myself, since I've never worn mine out of the house. It's just nice to be reassured every so often that someone out there is lazier and trashier than you.

The weather today was magical. I think it got to be 50 (!) degrees, and I didn't have to wear my heavy coat when I walked the dogs. I was a little irritated to see people out walking around in short sleeves (one guy wore a wife beater) because, come on people. Yes, its above freezing, but that doesn't make this some tropical location. Its still January in North Dakota, folks. I know winter is going to kick in any day now, and I will hate everything about my life, but for now I am so thankful that God has given us such an incredible first winter here. He's definitely answered a lot of prayers.

Today was a pretty hectic day at work--I had to finish our newsletter to get it sent off to the printers, so I'm REALLY hoping I caught all the typos and errors. If I didn't, I'll probably just set the printing company on fire to burn all the evidence.

If any of you read People magazine, the new issue with Heidi and Seal on it has an article on the lady who went missing in Montana. She is the sister-in-law of one of our doctors in the hospital, so that has really shaken up a lot of people here. Just pray for that family that they have closure and answers.

Weekend Stuff

Jacob and I are currently ending a perfectly lovely weekend with bad moods, thanks to the ongoing projector installation process.  I should say, the culprit of our foul moods is the projector screen, which is proving more difficult to hang from the ceiling than one might think.  I would say on a scale from exuberant to rageaholic, I'm somewhere between ill-tempered and sullen, and I think it's headed towards grouchy very quickly.  I know this projector thing is great for Jacob because he loves the project and he's gonna be so happy when it's completed, but I DO NOT enjoy helping.  It's just too stressful and I hate every minute of it.  And it's the exact opposite of how I want to end my weekend.

I just hate feeling like I'm constantly on-call when Jacob's working on a project.  I can never get more than like 15 feet away from him because the second I do, he needs me to help him with something.  So far today, I've tried to fold 4 loads of laundry and for each load, it took about 4-5 tries to get everything folded because the second I lay something out, Jacob needs me to help him. 

This weekend Jacob was in a shopping mood, and, excited about his projector, he wanted to get furniture to put in our living room downstairs.  After much debate (and three trips to Ashley Furniture), we ended up getting a pretty sweet sectional with a chaise (HOORAY!) and a super comfy recliner that we found on clearance.  I know, I know, recliners aren't the most stylish thing when it comes to decorating, and if an interior decorator walked into my house, he'd probably be horrified.

 But honestly, there are SO MANY other things in my house that would stop a decorator in their tracks,

 so I'm not too worried about how lame it is to have a recliner.  Personally I think it's comfortable and attractive, and DOESN'T look like it's been filled with farts (Dana).  Plus it was cheap, so win-win.  Speaking of potentially tacky decorations, during our first trip to Ashley, Jacob and I were doing a once over of the whole store, and ended up in the clearance room.  A porcelain accessory caught my eye and made me laugh, so for the heck of it, I decided to see how much it was.  $20 marked down to ONE DOLLAR.  SOLD! 

In case you can't tell, it's two white doves, gazing lovingly at each other.  I carried it around with me, unwilling to let it out of my sight, despite obviously having sat in their store for long enough that they were basically willing to sell it for nothing.  As we continued walking, a sales woman said to me "Oh, you're gonna get the doves, huh?"  I smiled and nodded, and she said "you know what, you can just have them."  Shocked, I looked to the other salesman next to her, who was nodding emphatically saying "yes, yes, you can have them.  Consider it a door prize or a parting gift."  I thanked them profusely and continued walking around with Jacob, hearing the three sales people talking about how they would just give it to me, then they all burst into a fit of laughter.  Even though we were walking farther away, the laughter did not die out for several minutes.  If I had to guess, I'd say the doves were a running joke among the employees, and they were wondering if they'd ever even find anyone to give them to.  Well, guess what, Ashley furniture?  I love weird animal art, and if you've got any other tacky crap, send it on this way, because I WILL TAKE IT.

I've been a bit moody (**EUPHEMISM) lately, so once again I find myself so thankful and happy that Jacob is so patient and level-headed.  While shopping online for the couches we were interested in, I nearly had a meltdown because I was so sick of talking about it.  I just started being rude and snippy and thankfully Jacob is very forgiving.  Although sometimes I do wonder about his intelligence, since I can be one of the most annoying people in the world to deal with.  I guess I'm just so beautiful, it's worth the hassle.  

The dogs had a very stylish day today.  First, they got to put on their new coats.  Andy seems a bit frustrated that he and Oscar have the same coat because he generally gravitates to a flashy aesthetic, but he really needed something a little more butch anyways.

When they came inside and I took their coats off, they both seemed to miss the sassiness of the clothes, so I threw on a couple of scarves I had sitting nearby.   Notice creepy Andy in the background:

I'm not gonna lie, Andy looks really good in that scarf.  I've worn it to work a few times and I always get a ton of compliments on it.  (Thanks Ash!!!!)  Seeing Andy in it, though, makes me glad I don't have to compete for attention with him.  It would be pretty humiliating to lose a "Who Wore it Best?" to your dog.

I was cleaning the house for the first time today (don't judge me!), and I have realized the builder wasn't kidding when he said our circuit breaker was extremely sensitive.  Basically, you can't have a light on in the room you're vacuuming because it trips the breaker and then nothing works in that room.  This circuit breaker is really testing my patience because I can fall out of the cleaning mood VERY quickly, so it's really best to not have me unable to finish a whole room without having to stop to reset the breaker.  Because there is a good chance that when the electricity goes out and I set the vacuum against the wall to wait for Jacob to fix it, that vacuum's probably going to sit there for about three more weeks.  That'll teach it a lesson!

To those interested-Ashley and Dana-here is the picture of my hair from the wedding.  Despite the initial headbutt between me and the hairdresser, I actually think she ended up doing a great job and I really love it.

 Looks like offending her worked out in my favor!

Sweet puppy

Obviously Andy is not superstitious.

Thanks Global Warming!

Today was super gorgeous.  Above and beyond what I would expect for winter in NoDak on January 26th, that's for sure.  I think it may have been 40 degrees, so most of the snow and ice that was left over has melted.  I'm pretty sure it's going to snow tonight, but that's okay.  I won't complain because today was awesome.  I ended up taking the dogs for a long walk this afternoon (like I said in my earlier post).  I wanted to wear them out since we don't get to take walks everyday now, since it's way too cold some days.  I ended up walking them out of our neighborhood and to the community center which has a path around the outside that's just over a mile long.  We were halfway through the mile long path when we turned a corner so we were walking along the street of a busy-ish road (for our town, anyways).  At this point, we'd already been walking in the sun for about half an hour, and the thick knit mittens I'd worn were starting to make my hands hot.  I took the mittens off, shoving them in my jacket pockets along with the plastic Walmart bags I had in case the dogs pooped.  Just to give you a picture, my jacket has front angled pockets that hit right at the bottom of my ribcage.  In each pocket I had one mitten and one plastic bag, so I had two grapefruit sized bulges protruding from my midsection.  I legitimately had a solid C cup worth of plastic bags and knitwear shoved into my pockets.  I noticed as a truck was driving by that the driver (a younger guy) did a double take when he saw me.  At first glance I think he thought he'd spotted a girl with a great rack walking around, but then his second look was one of horror, as he realized that what he assumed to be breasts needed some sort of steel bra to support what was sagging so horrifically.  The look on his face was priceless.  I thought it was a pretty great unintentional prank until I realized that the reason he thought that was my full pockets were my chest was because nothing else was showing through my puffy jacket.  Guess the joke's on me since I'm built like a 7th grade boy.

Here's a great example of why Dana and I are friends.  I got an excited text from her today, asking if I'd seen the new Elie Saab Spring Collection.  I had barely finished the text before I was lunging at the iPad, pulling up the pictures as quick as possible.  It felt like Christmas morning.  I was definitely not disappointed.  Just like any Elie Saab collection, I'm totally in love with each dress and wish I had the money and/or occasion to wear them.  Here's what needs to happen.  Somehow I need to become famous for something so I can wear those dresses for free.  Realistically, though, I don't see celebrity status in my future, so it looks like all the pressure is on Jacob to become a big-wig at his company so we can become society people.  I'll do a Gala or benefit every night if I get to wear one of those dresses.  I don't care what the cause is.  It could be H.O.O.P for all I care.

Anyway, you should check out the collection.  My favorites are the ice blue ones, but with a little tweaking, I would kill to wear that wedding dress. 

Isaac update:  I got to Face Time with the brave boy today.  He couldn't talk and he seemed to be uncomfortable, but he was really brave and everything went well with the surgery.  My sister said he was a Jello monster, so maybe tomorrow she can use some crazy cookie cutters or something to make the jello even more exciting for him.  Thanks for all the prayers and please continue to pray that his recovery goes well and his pain lessens daily.

I squealed with excitement today as I was coming home from work a different way and discovered that the shopping center in front of my house is going to have a Little Caesars!!  I can't even imagine how many Hot N Ready's we'll get from there, but it's probably going to be more than 15 but less than 75.  I know not everyone likes Little Caesar's, but I could eat Crazy Bread every day of the year.  Brinson and I were talking about pizza places a few months back and he asked me what I thought of Little Caesar's.  When I told him I loved it, he was open-mouthed and speechless.  After a few seconds he goes "You're kidding, right?"  He then proceeded to tell me (direct quote) "To me, it's just not quality pizza."  When did this 12 year old become such a foodie?!  I think he was judging me for loving them so much, but I can't help it.  Buddy, when you're old and wise, you'll appreciate the beauty of a $5 pizza.  Also exciting is that going next door to the Little Caesar's is Pita Pit.  I'm mostly excited because I know that it makes Tom jealous that I'll be like 2 minutes walking distance from a Pita Pit.  I can't wait to tell him the first time we go there and I get a Chicken Crave.  WITHOUT SPROUTS.

I know him well enough to know that if he's reading this, he just sighed, rolled his eyes and said "you're stupid."  Love you too, Tom!!!!!

If you notice weird things happening with the blog over the next couple of days it's because I'm trying to change the background.  I switched it for a little bit earlier, but it got super messed up and was irritating me, so I tried to switch it back.  Somehow half the page was frozen into the old template, and then it faded into the new one, like my blog was having some sort of stroke.  I'll try to get it sorted out this weekend (in between all the chores Jacob already said he wants to do), so hopefully there will be a new and exciting look to the blog soon! 

Poor Guy

The boys and I took a long walk, an hour long and about 2.5 miles. Poor Andy can't even believe how exhausted he is. My mail carrier just called me while he's sitting in front of my house, so now the poor puppy feels like he needs to be a guard dog and watch the front if the house, but he doesn't even have the energy to lift his head or bark.

FYI

I can hear Inception playing on the projector downstairs. That's two days in a row, folks.

Post Bootcamp Jello Muscles

Today I went to boot camp for the fourth time in as many weeks, and again I find myself exhausted. In a one hour class, I wouldn't have thought it was possible to do 200+ squats, but we did. We did a lot of work with the body bar, which I always struggle with because I'm such a wimp with weights. Since I struggle in the class and get fatigued really quickly, I was feeling pretty good about myself about 30-40 minutes in as I'm dragging my 9 pound body bar up and down the gym floor while doing lunges. That is I felt pretty good until I realized the lady next to me was using a 24 pound body bar. 24 POUNDS. I seriously don't know how she was doing that. I also don't know how she managed to carry it back out of the gym and upstairs when class was over. I came very close to stopping someone on the stairs and saying "excuse me, virile young man, would you trouble me for a hand and take this body bar from me before I fall backwards down these stairs and crush my brain with my free weights?". I didn't want to be a baby though, so I made it upstairs (barely) and try to play it cool like my body didn't feel as though it had been drained of its blood and replaced with pudding. I was pulling it off until I tripped over my own feet and lunged forward, ramming the person in front of me with my 9 lb body bar. Whoops, sorry for the blood hemorrhage, friend. That'll heal I'm sure.

I found myself very distracted during boot camp today by some girl who wasn't understand the meaning behind my dirty looks. 

For some reason this girl, who I've never seen at the gym before, decided she needed to be the cheerleader for our class.  Like I said before, this is a pretty tough, exhausting class, and anytime we get a break for water, all anyone can do is barely make it to the drinking fountain to get a sip.  In between plyo moves or weight sets, she'd just randomly yell out "alright great job!" or "YES!  We can do it!"  We were in the last fifteen minutes of class which is normally abs followed by stretching.  We were doing bicycles and the instructor was counting down so we knew when to stop.  She gets to 1 and this moron starts clapping for all of us, so proud that we were able to finish.  Immediately the instructor tells us to reverse the bicycles, an obvious progression during an ab circuit, and it seemed to take the girl totally off guard.  She was so busy clapping and cheering for her neighbors she missed half of the reverse bicycles and was totally flustered trying to catch up.  I just don't understand the point of the enthusiasm.  Yes, we were able to do a minute of ankle biters.  I don't need your approval.  While giving her dirty looks, I noticed that for almost every move we did, she could only do about 75% of what the rest of the class was doing.  It was like she was stopping to give herself a rest so that she'd have the energy to clap and cheer for the rest of us when we all finished.  If she's there next week, I might just ask her to tape her hands together before class starts.

Okay I'm soliciting all of your prayers for my sweet nephew Isaac.  He has to have his tonsils taken out tomorrow, and I know it will be no big deal and he'll be just fine, but he could use some prayers.  He's super brave and I'm sure he's not worried at all--he probably thinks he's a total baller for missing school and getting a bunch of cards in the mail.  And he definitely is a baller.  Pray for his parents too, since I can't imagine the stress of knowing your child needs even minor surgery.  It's stressing me out and he's not my little guy.  Love you, Isaac!  Feel better soon!!!!!

This picture is from a few years ago-he looks so little!!!  But I love it so much I had to use it.  He's a brave, sweet little guy and I hope the surgery is quick and painless.

Ha!

Told ya! This picture doesn't do the projector justice. The Dickinson theater just closed, too, but it ain't no thang. A got a theater in my house now dawg. If only I could get an advanced copy of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo...

Jacobs Child

I thought I'd give a quick picture update of what Jacob is doing. I think the day he finishes this and gets it working for some sporting event will be the single greatest day of his life. Perhaps mine too, since hopefully he'll be so mesmerized by the projector that he won't be doing endless chores and I will be happily watching tv by myself upstairs. Prediction: he watches Inception greater than 8 times in the next two weeks.

Still waiting

Today work was pretty crappy. It's going to be a crazy busy week, and unfortunately tomorrow is Wednesday and I've gotten nothing accomplished except for filling my inbox to capacity so I can no longer receive emails. In the 8 hours I've worked in the last two days (YES, I'm complaining about a part time job) five of those hours have been in pointless and seemingly endless meetings. Is it too early to consider retirement?

I've just finished helping Jacob with one very essential task--holding the shop vac to the ceiling while he drills holes. I guess looking directly into the dust and letting debris fall into your eyeballs is preferable to letting it just fall to the ground and then vacuuming it from there. I'm waiting for my next task, which will probably be equally fun.

It's super cold in the basement, so naturally I took the jacket to my sweatsuit off and put it on Andy like a person would wear. Unfortunately he's a bit too husky for it to fit around him and get both sleeves on, but he seemed to enjoy the feeling of velour on his fur. How could you not?

Late Cards

I'm currently on call in my upstairs living room while Jacob works on the projector in the basement. I'm sure he'll need my help holding something up or using the shop vac while he drills holes, so here I sit, waiting. While I wait I'm trying to address my new years cards. I was way too late to do Christmas cards this year and even my new years cards are going to end up being a month late. So some of you have that card to look for in the mail. Others of you...well, I'll let you enjoy the pictures I took on the way home from Bismarck the other night when I was delirious from fatigue and stress.
Given the choice between the cards I had printed and these photo booth pictures, I'd take photo booth.

I must have the brain of a nine year old because taking these pictures was making me laugh so hard I nearly wet myself.

Wedding!

We've been back for almost a full 24 hours now and I am still exhausted from this weekend.  It was a great weekend, though, and it was nice to be busy with so many fun things to do and people to see.  Despite gorging myself on food at both the rehearsal dinner and reception (mmmm....barbecue....), I was down three pounds in my weigh in for The Biggest Loser today, so overall I'm down a whole pound!

The wedding was absolutely beautiful.  Hannah was a GORGEOUS bride and she and Daniel are so in love.  They are definitely the most loving and affectionate couple I've ever known.  Besides Jacob and I of course:

I'm super happy for them and I'm so excited to officially  have Hannah as a sister.  I don't necessarily like a lot of people (pretend to be surprised), but I love Hannah and I'm so happy she and Daniel are together.  God definitely made them for each other.  Equally exciting is that Andy and Oscar officially have two new cousins, Copper and Kira!

The reception was really fun, and even though I could feel myself sinking into a coma towards the end, I had an incredible time.  It was definitely the who's-who of Trinity, so it was fun to hob nob with the big Trinity families.  After a few Shiners, I'm pretty sure Jacob was rambling on to our old Government teacher about who knows what, and discussed the highlight of his young life--winning the Geography Bee in 8th grade--with our history teacher.  Everyone seemed to be having an awesome time, and there was a TON of dancing all night.  Most of the people who were dancing actually knew what they were doing, so I decided not to make a fool of myself and get out there.

 I'll save my moves for the privacy of my own car, thank you very much.

While we were home, we spent most of our time with Jacob's family.  At one point, his youngest sister Emily (shoutout!) mentioned the blog, and was able to make a shortcut on her iTouch, so my blog is basically an app for her.  She categorizes her apps and my blog was one of two listed under "Humor", accompanied solely by her Fart Studio app.  Honestly, it's humbling to think that I could even be put in the same category as an app that exists only to make the sound of wet farts.  It's like being nominated for an Oscar in the same category as Meryl Streep--you know you'll never win, but you can't believe you're even peers. So thank you Emily.  For thinking of me as a distant second to fart sounds.

Coming home yesterday was a total buzzkill.  Neither Jacob nor I wanted to come home to the cold, and I was just not in the mood to travel.  We've only lived here six months and I've already reached the level of hating to fly that I acquired over the two(ish) years in Findlay.  On the first flight I got progressively more nauseous, and by the time our plane landed, I thought I was going to barf everywhere.  I would've been fine, except we were on a huge plane so it took 45 minutes for us to even be able to get up and get off the plane.  Once I stepped off and got some fresh air, it was fine, but it was a close call.  We hustled to our gate for our connecting flight to Bismarck, only to find out that our flight had been delayed about 45 minutes.  It was annoying, but it gave me a chance to brush up on my Denver Airport conspiracy theories.  My brother informed me of the oddities of the airport, and since I love a good conspiracy, I am now obsessed.  It's pretty interesting stuff.  I know it can all be explained, but it's still worth a read.  Once we were finally able to get on the plane, the pilot announced that one of the latches for the tray table was broken, and according to federal regulations had to be properly secured, so they had to get a mechanic on board.  His exact words were "Hopefully the mechanic will have a spare latch he can just switch out, otherwise we'll just go to plan B, which is just taping it."  Seems to me that if you KNOW you have tape and you're already delayed, just go ahead and tape it, rather than fiddle with trying to find a spare part and then having to fix it, right?  To me that makes the most sense.  Of course everyone else on the plane was thinking the same thing and within seconds of the announcement I heard one guy go "I'll give him this bubble gum right out of my mouth if he wants it!"  That got entirely too many laughs for my taste, and then for some reason, the guy right beside Jacob (a different guy, mind you) turns to us and goes "I've got some gum, if he just wants to use that!"  SURELY YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.  Somebody JUST used that joke, guy.  This is a plane with 30 people on it.  We all heard the joke once.  Never do that again.  Fifteen minutes later, the latch was fixed (or taped), and we were on our way.  Despite our snidey flight attendant who didn't give me ice with my apple juice (who DOESN'T like it room temperature?), it was a pretty good flight.  We made it back to Bismarck, super hungry, but surprisingly still in good spirits despite the long day of traveling.  Jacob waited at the baggage carousel while I borrowed his jacket (my coat was packed in our checked bag) and ran outside to scrape the ice & snow off the car and drive it around to pick him up.  I knew I was a dead duck (trademark Quinn) when I was in the vicinity of my car, holding down my alarm button and nothing was happening.  Sure enough, minutes later, I came upon my car, battery totally dead.  I ran back inside to talk to Jacob and figure out what we were going to do, only to discover him standing with one other guy, watching the baggage carousel as one lonely bag continued to spin its way around.  The look on Jacob's face (and the absence of our luggage) informed me that the night took another turn and I think that's approximately when the tears started.  Thankfully I was found a good Samaritan working at the Enterprise counter who was willing to help me.  Motivated either by pity, or fear of my mascara stained face, he was able to drive us to my car in a nice warm vehicle (it was in the teens and I had no coat), and Jacob got the car jumped no problem.  Our baggage showed up this morning, so I really can't complain, but it was a VERY rough ending to a great weekend.

Today before I left for work I was given the task of shoveling the driveway.  Not an easy task when the driveway is wide enough for three cars.  It wouldn't have been so bad except that it had been four days worth of accumulated snow that was melting and refreezing, so it was SO ICY.  If I was Johnny Weir, I could have easily done a full routine on this driveway.

I completely lost track of time and after two hours, I realized I was running late for work.  I ran inside to take a quick shower and realized how much of a workout the shoveling had been.  Even though it was only 20 something degrees, I had sweat through my shirt, sweatshirt and THROUGH MY COAT.  I had to peel my clothes off.  It was so disgusting.  I can honestly say I have never sweat that much in my entire life.  Not even standing in the student section during a 4 hour long football game in August.  Gross.  Even right now, about 10 hours later, I'm doing the laundry, and I just put in a load that had the shirt I was wearing.  It's like it's been soaking in a tub all day, that's how wet it was.  I'm sure I was using more effort that necessary to shovel, but it was so hard.  At one point the old man across the street from me was watching me while he was smoking.  He yelled that he didn't think my technique would work, and then proceeded to do the exact same thing on his driveway.


When I got to work today, there were 50+ emails waiting for me from ONE COWORKER ALONE.  Good grief.  It was a little overwhelming because I hadn't even been there 5 minutes and someone told me I had to go to a staff meeting in about 20 minutes.  I'm sure the meeting covered many things that were sitting unread in my inbox, but there was no way to get to all that before the 1 1/2 hour meeting.  I'm starting to realize that the people I work with are actually relying on me to take a huge portion of the workload off them.  I mean, yeah, that's what I was hired to do, but I'd really rather sit around and not be trusted with anything.  I want to have the style of Tom Haverford, but the responsibilities of Jerry Gergich.

House pics

I've been meaning to take pictures of the house now that we're mostly unpacked. Obviously these pictures aren't great since I'm just using the camera on the iPad. I'll try to take better pictures with my camera before too long. Okay enjoy!

Cold Weather Adjustments

Today was extremely cold (I never saw it get above -8) and my poor dogs are really struggling. On the plus side, the miserable cold has finally cured Oscar of his obsession to take walks everyday. Unfortunately the cold is so bad that Andy is refusing to go outside to go to the bathroom and I'm pretty sure he's going to end up with a bladder infection. Just now we decided to take the boys out one more time before bed and decided we should try to bundle them up so they'd stay out long enough to go to the bathroom. Here's what we rigged up. I won't say Oscar loved it, but I can attest to the fact that once clothed, Andy was walking around with a certain swagger.

Andy wore his jacket around the house for another ten minutes before I was able to track him down to take it off. And really, he seemed kinda bummed when I did it.

Back in the Saddle

Well I forgot how much...fun...Jacob is when we own a house.  I love the guy dearly, but all I want to do when I'm home is relax and have a little alone time with the tv.  Do I like to spend time with Jacob?  Of course.  Do I like to spend time with him while he's working on chores?

  Here's the thing.  I hate when I start doing something and then I have to stop to go do another task that I don't feel is necessary.  For example, I've been sitting at this computer for 30+ minutes trying to write this dang thing, and Jacob would say "how about you go through this box?" (which contained non-essential things like notepads and ticket stubs) or "how about you start a spreadsheet so we can plan our vacation for this year?"  Umm.  No.  I'd really rather not.  I want to get this blog done and go to bed.  Yes, I am overly cranky, in case you were wondering, but it's just been like that for the last week and it's driving me bonkers.  I can't even tell you how many times this weekend I'd just be sitting down to watch tv or I'd be cooking and Jacob would be yelling to me that he needed my help.  So I'd put down what I was doing to go help him only to end up standing there for like 30 minutes when he only needed me for about 3.  I was making these Cherry Chocolate Scones over the weekend, and I don't know how many times I had to stop what I was doing and wash my hands off and go help him do something.  It easily took me three times as long as it should have.

Let's get real.  I'm just being a baby because I'm not adjusting well to working and having to rush home, work out, make dinner, clean up and spending no time by myself.  It's driving me insane.  I miss having my days to myself to leisurely work out, run errands and get things ready for dinner.  Now I have to cram everything in right away AND deal with Jacob's overenthusiastic desire to get things done.  ALSO let me just mention I have had this last freaking Harry Potter movie for over A MONTH and have never had the chance to watch it.  Not because I've been that busy, but because every weekend we've been working on chores until late even though MULTIPLE times I've said to Jacob "all I want to do this weekend is watch Harry Potter."  Honestly, I don't think it's too much to ask.  If there was a game he'd want to watch, I would happily do something else while he sat there and did nothing.  Unfortunately that's just not the man I married...Actually he's pretty good about letting me do my own thing, but it's really  hard for me to sit down and relax when he's running around the house, unpacking boxes or setting up wiring or stuff like that.  It's especially hard when we're in the same room.  Somehow, over the last few days, it seems like every time I try to do something non-chore related, somehow Jacob ends up in the same room, unpacking or setting something up.  It shouldn't bother me, but it makes me want to rip each hair off of my body one by one.

Okay I'm going to stop complaining about Jacob now because he's wonderful and I love him and he's great.  I'm just way too cranky and tired to come home from work and only get to cook dinner and do chores.

Today was another extremely cold day, and tomorrow is supposed to be miserable.  On the plus side, I've made it through three straight days of single digit weather, so if anyone is interested in sending me a congratulatory gift basket, message me for my address.

I really need some sort of pick me up to get me out of this funk before bed, and thankfully I've got a friend like Dana to provide me with just the comic relief I need.  I'm not proud to say I watch Dance Moms, but I do.  I'm completely hooked and I think it's hilarious.  One of my favorites is the crazy mom from Ohio and her daughter Vivi-Anne.  They never address the elephant in the room--Vivi's nationality which I assume to be Polynesian.  I'm guessing she's adopted, so if that's the case, good for the crazy mom, because I think that's wonderful.  What's unfortunate is that poor Vivi is being raised by someone who is already allowing her 5 year old daughter to have a mustache.  I don't want to delve into the ethical and moral implications of bleaching or waxing a young child's face, but....help a girl out!  Also, it's incredibly awkward because Vivi's mom owns a dance studio where she is the choreographer and in charge of teaching these young kids how to dance, yet watching Vivi dance is like playing a game of QWOP.


Anyway, here is Vivi in all her glory.  I have to say, just watching this really and truly brought me out of my funk, so thank you Dana.  And thank you, Vivi.

I know she's like 5 and blah blah blah, but she's totally getting upstaged by this gay ginger kid, who's a poor man's Derek from Full House.  (I legit hate when people won't let you embed their videos.  Get over yourself, you jag.  You stole it from someone else!)  Anyways, I hope you enjoy Vivi-Anne.  I know I do.  I also sincerely hope this is enough to entice some of you to watch the show.  I could really use more people to talk Dance Moms with.

Globes Wrap Up

I didn't get to see all of the Golden Globes last night, unfortunately, but what I saw was okay.  Obviously the red carpet was way more interesting to me than the actual show, so that's really the only part I was SERIOUS about watching.  So it stands to reason that during that time Jacob would call down to me about every three minutes, which was kind of driving me insane.  So I may have missed a few people, but from what I saw, here were my favorites and least favorites from the red carpet this year:

Best Dressed:

5.  Emily Blunt--I so completely adored this dress.  I don't think she walked the red carpet, so for that reason alone, I'm putting her at #5 since I can't see the back of the dress.

4.  Claire Danes--If I was a stick thin celebrity, I totally would have worn this.  The hair isn't my favorite, but I couldn't take my eyes of of this dress.

3.  Charlize Theron--I'm not normally one for a hip flounce of any kind, let alone a giant one with bejewels, but you can't deny she looks like a baller.  Oh, to have some South African dancer-genes.

2.  Emma Stone--I've got what may be considered a girl crush on Emma Stone.  I guarantee that somewhere in her home/crack den, Lindsay Lohan is constantly burning her Emma Stone effigy.  I can't even express how much I love this Lanvin dress.  Even though I hated the belt when I first saw it, it makes sense for the designer, and I don't mind it so much now.

1.  Viola Davis--Girlfriend brought it.  She always looks amazing on the red carpet because she sticks to solids and picks these incredible colors that pop so well with her skin tone.  Head to toe, she looks so incredible here.  She definitely showed a lot of younger women how it's done.

BONUS:  I couldn't think of anyone to cut from my list of favorites, so I'm including one extra in my top five.  Evan Rachel Wood.  What is there to say?  The girl is a freakin diva.

Worst Dressed:

5.  Freida Pinto--This PAINS me to write, because I think she's truly one of the most beautiful women on the planet.  If you had asked me before this, I would have said she can do no wrong, but unfortunately that's not true....This dress just is so hideously unflattering.  It makes her look boxy from the front, and from the back it looked like one of the ugly stepsisters.  UGH.  I'm sorry, Freida.  Please don't ever make me do that again.

4.  Piper Perabo--This almost isn't worth mentioning to me because I can't imagine she thought this dress looked good or fashionable.  Surely she and her stylist just decided this would be a great way to get some press, right? 

3.  Lea Michele--OY.  I'm not sure why Lea fights so hard to wear dresses for someone older than her.  I'm also not sure why she loves Marchesa so much.  I know I don't (except for this this and this).  Honey, people can still take you for a serious actress if you dress your age.  You don't have to serve up the crazy posing and try to look like Sandra Bullock.  You work hard, and you can get that Oscar someday, too!  (you won't though)

Just for comparisons sake: 
2.  Dianna Agron--This girl tries so hard to be unconventionally beautiful and it does not work.  Sister, let me tell you something--you're a blond hair, blue eyed 20 something with an obnoxiously sugary voice.  Stick with the traditional looks and you'll be just fine.  Also, this is her second time on my worst dressed list...if I were her, I'd take that as a real wake up call.

1.  Madonna--Gross.  That's really all I can say about her.  This whole look is wrong to me.  I mean, I realize I'm biased because I hate her and how far up her own butt she is, but this look just is terrible.  Also the workout glove phase she's going through?  Yeah, everyone is seeing right through that.  We know your hands are super veiny, Madonna.  But unless you're going to wear sleeves to also hide your Gollum arms, just go ahead and leave your weightlifting gloves at home while wearing couture gowns.

Well I would LOVE to tell y'all about the awkward things that happened today in my new employee orientation that I was in from 9-4, but since I was forwarded the company's policy on social media three different times, I'll just keep my mouth shut.  This is going to be very difficult not to relate work stories, but MESSAGE RECEIVED, HR.  Surely they didn't send that to me because they found my blog right?!  I keep telling myself it's just because of my department and my age, but...alas, I must stop writing about work.

Something work related that I CAN talk about is the weight loss competition some of us signed up to do.  So there are like10-15 of us doing The Biggest Loser, and we each had to put $20 in for the winner, so I'm using it to motivate me to stay in shape these next few months. When I went upstairs to be weighed today, I saw that I had gained two pounds since last weeks weigh in...yikes... Probably has something to do with those three cookies I ate during orientation. No one tell Hannah I may be too fat to fit in my bridesmaids dress this weekend. (It's fine, she's got too much going on this week to read this nonsense.)

I can't even tell you how happy I am to have tv again. Since I use my time and brain wisely, I've already watched three episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  I missed you, DirecTv!!!!!

Yesterday I was running all around town trying to find shoes to wear for the wedding this weekend, and unfortunately I was unsuccessful (don't tell Hannah that, either), but I managed to score some sweet boots from the Ol Dusty Rose (Herbergers, of course).  Both pairs were only $20 each, so naturally I had to snag them. For some reason the grey ones look super pirate-y in this picture, but they're not like that in person, I promise.

It is so cold here, you guys. I mean, crazy cold. Tonight it was 1 degree when I was coming home from the gym. I just came in from taking the dogs out, and I don't even want to know what the temperature was.  It's gotta be like -5 or so. [EDIT: IT'S -7]  The high Wednesday is supposed to be -1. Poor Oscar needs a coat for real. He's just not meant to be a cold weather puppy.  This cold has me craving warm, hearty meals (perhaps another reason for the extra 2lbs).  Tonight I made 2 new recipes.  One was just a combo of roasted veggies; carrots, sweet potatoes, red potatoes, butternut squash, and parsnips.  The other was a new homemade meatball recipe that I made with spaghetti.  Both were total dudes and not worth the time or effort.  Guess I'll stick to my other meatball recipe and just do roasted green beans or zucchini.  Blerg.